Update
Becky came through her surgery fine. When I left the hospital, she was in ICU, being weaned off the ventilator. She was waking up, and fighting it, as they do, so her arms were restrained to prevent her from pulling it out. Her mother was standing beside her, rubbing her arm and trying to comfort and calm her.
They took samples from the hip and breast. The breast hasn't been diagnosed yet, the hip has. It is adenocarcinoma. It's not a bone cancer. It originates in other areas of the body, colon, pancreas, breasts, esophagus, prostate, lungs and metastasizes to other areas.
The breast seems like a probable origin, but we will only know when we get the results of the biopsy. She also found out she has pneumonia, so it could be lung...just don't know.
Still searching the internet for information. I don't know the origin, so it's a lot of speculation and pretty much useless and terrifying, but it's the only thing I know to do.
We are still keeping information private locally. I don't know anyone that has survived breast cancer anyway to ask for advice. There are a lot of members I am not friends with, no reason, just got to know some in the beginning and tend to talk with the same people. Ann, Teri, or Joanie, anyone that knows more people, could you ask some questions? Any breast cancer survivers here?
Even before her surgery this morning, Becky knew how this could turn out. She's not an emotional person, yet every time we left with Jack she cried. I simply can't imagine what she is going through. Besides losing Cassi, my biggest fear was something happening to me while she was young. The thought of her having to navigate through life without me terrified me, as I am sure it is Becky. Only in my case, I never had even a health scare, much less a situation like this. Her elderly mother may have to watch her child go...my sister may lose her partner of over 10 years and learn how to be a single parent, and Jack...Oh Jack. What happens to a 7 year old child when this happens?
Replies
Dear Gina, I'm so sorry for what y'all are having to go through because this is hard for everyone.
I am a breast cancer survivor, daughter of a breast cancer non-survivor. My mother had breast cancer that spread to her ovaries; I lost her 37 years ago today, Nov. 26, 1980, when she was 61. There have been many advances made in breast cancer treatment since that time & I think that Becky may benefit from some of them. 1980 is ancient history as far as cancer treatment goes.
Flash forward to the fall of 1999. After a routine mammogram, I was diagnosed with DCIS- Ductal Cancer in Situ. That means that the cancer was confined totally within one of the breast ducts. No lymph node involvement. Had a lumpectomy & a follow-up surgery (because they had to go back in to get better margins). That was Dec. 22 of '99; I remember because it was so close to Christmas. Surgery was followed by 5 weeks of radiation treatment at the beginning of 2000. Have been cancer-free since then, knock on wood. Eventually had reconstruction done. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Have tried to stay on top of things though, especially for the first 5 years when I had 'diagnostic' mammograms yearly. Now I just have regular mammograms yearly. Hope all this isn't TMI, but thought some of this might be helpful information.
My heart goes out to all involved & I hope that things go well for Becky. You are all in my thoughts & prayers. If there's anything I can do, or if you have any questions, please let me know. Love, Donna
Hi Gina - I am a breast cancer survivor, too. Invasive, double mastectomy and chemo. I am trying how to figure out how to message you privately - there are some sites on line with very good information that I think you would find helpful in every way. I know this is so very difficult fro all involved and you are trying to take care of everyone else - but try to take care of you, too! Joanna x
I really have nothing to add, but please know Becky, her mom, Jack, your sister, yourself, and everyone who knows and loves Becky is being prayed for by myself and many others.
Love,
Teri
The sisterhood that is here never ceases to amaze me. Women coming forward to share their experience, hope and strength. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you as this is such a blow and as Joanna said please take care of yourself Gina. However that might look and feel.
One thought that did come in for me and I'm sure it has been dealt with is letting Jack's teacher know and perhaps the guidance counselor at his school as well. I always knew when something was up with my little charges and when I had the background information it helped me to know how to be with them. Most times the children told me first what was happening in their lives and then their parents filled in the blanks when they were ready to.
Loving care to all and may the medical community continue to educate, inform and offer some choices too if possible for this path they have been thrust upon.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
Gina, glad to hear Becky made it through surgery ok. First hurdle, done. But I can imagine how scary it is to continue getting results of biopsies. So sorry that the biopsy in the hip showed cancer. I will continue to pray for Becky and all of you.
As a single parent for many years I used to be very afraid that something would happen to me before Ed was grown. As you know, he is my only child and so we only had each other. If something happened to me then my ex husband would have gotten custody of Ed and at that time he was using alcohol and other drugs and was a very angry & aggressive man. Becky must be so scared that she won't be around for Jack, even though he has your sister, I'm sure it's devastating to have this uncertainty for her.
As Joanie said, it may be helpful to let Jack's teacher & school counselor know what's going on so they can be of support to Jack & your sister. I just want to add, as a social worker for many years I've seen children be quite resilient.
Praying for dear Becky to survive and beat this cancer. Love and gentle hugs, Linda ♡
I will be praying for Becky and all involved. My mother was a breast cancer survivor - she died @ 89 with pancreatic cancer, but the breast cancer was 20 years earlier.
She is one lucky sister to have you.
Sending prayers and love - Vicki