Up to date...
My Sisters...I have to bring you up to date!!! The beginning of the week I was terribly down, in a dark, depressed place...you know that place very well, don't you??? Then my sister-in-law sent me a horrible text message accusing me of "exploiting" my daughter on facebook (I don't think she knows the meaning of the word)...she said it made me look unstable and nonchalant (again, not sure she is aware of the oxymoron). She also threatened that if I did not stop posting so much about my daughter people would begin to question my role in the tragedy...sigh...Do I even have to tell you, she has several mental illnesses and has been in and out of hospitals her whole life. She is 50 years old and still lives with her parents...however, that gives her no right to say some of the horrible things she said to me. My first response was anger, of course...but I found with the rush of angry energy coursing through me I was not feeling so depressed anymore...then, several friends and family members came to my defense like a pack of wild wolves, lol. I have decided I can't have her negative energy in my life anymore. My husband gave up on her years ago but I was always taking up for her, feeling sorry for her...even as I felt her resenting me...because that's the kind of person I am. But now, after suffering the worst loss imaginable I have had to tighten my circle and edit out a few people, both friends and family members, simply because of the negativity they bring into my life. I am stronger than I was last week, and I will be stronger next week, but I will never be the person I once was and I just won't tolerate such disrespect ever again. I will have many hard times still to come when I need all of the positive energy I can get and would be more vulnerable to the negative. This morning I woke up with such a sense of gratitude...the love that poured forth, the good people who wanted to protect and defend me...and gratitude for sites such as this, where I can communicate with others in a language only we understand. I am grateful for facebook, where I can post pictures of my Cassi, her friends can post things, and I can share inspirational messages...I am a blessed woman. I miss my daughter, but she is bathed in the love of God, where no pain or illness can touch her...and someday I will be there with her! I love you Cassi!!! I love you sisters!!! I love my family and friends that have been so supportive of me!!!
Sisters, please remember this...when times are bleak please try to remember they will pass...and please remind me when I am there too. We all have so much to be grateful for!!
Sisters, please remember this...when times are bleak please try to remember they will pass...and please remind me when I am there too. We all have so much to be grateful for!!
Replies
Blessings to you today, Gina. I am always so grateful when I have moments of peace. ((hugs)) Vicki
Tightest of heart hugs darling!!
We are changed....forever...and some of the changes are very good for us! I too choose more wisely whom I allow into my inner circle. You don\'t have to be perfect...who can be....but you do have to respect my need to voice my LOVE energy for Kala in ANY way that is a help to ME! If you can\'t handle it, I can\'t handle you!
Love ya girlie!!
Love to Cassi!
I\'m glad you can disregard the negative and unsupportive people out there. There is enough pain and negativity in just trying to survive our children\'s death, that there\'s no room for that kind of nonsense. Congrats for being strong enough to put her and others like her aside and not buy into their idiocy.
So very happy for your lifted spirits...hugs of gratitude, Lauri
We are certainly changed forever. I am so glad to hear that you have wonderful friends who support you. Negative people really do affect us negatively. The last thing you need is someone who brings you down. You supported her; now it is time to support yourself.
Love and huge hugs,
Marlene
Less than four months from your loss and you seem to have caught up to me, how is that?
Unfriend that woman and report her to FB. They will terminate her account.
I am learning to defend myself in the same \"mother bear\" fashion that I defended my daughter for her entire life. There are attitudes, statements, opinions and judgment I refuse. We \"teach\" others how to treat us. If someone crosses the line, I cross them off. I don\'t use a heavy hand here, I tread carefully with empathy and charity, but I will no longer accept abuse of any sort or judgment of any sort, and certainly not condemnation. Nor should you.
I know my address book has become smaller too just for the same reasons that you mentioned. Grateful that you understand this about yourself and your need for nurturing people and not \"drainers.\"
As long as you know your heart, Gina, that is ALL that matters. When others attack I have discovered it is about them and their fears and I don\'t have to take it and nor do you. Yet, it can hurt and cause anxious feelings so good for you to see it for what it is and take care of yourself.
We are here to remind one another that this grief path has it\'s peaks, valleys and automatic pilot moments and each are needed and will move into another in time.
Love and care dear Gina and always for your beloved Cassi.
XO Joanie
Yes you have a duty to protect yourself from this additional hurt. Why are people so cruel? Sending you vibes of healing to rise above such negative thoughts. xoxox
Having support can make all the difference in a positive wayI\'m glad you had help and feel stronger. I feel the same way about my children being in Heaven and bathed with LightThere is no darkness thereat all! Love, Donna
Do what I do, Gina. If they upset me, I delete them. Period. I don\'t respond, I don\'t acknowledge them. I just delete them. I don\'t have many friends left LOL
Peace.