Up-dating/Checking In/ You Get It... and GUPTA
Hello Dear DS Friends,
It's been a long time since I journaled, but here I am. I guess the last time I wrote was after Maris died (my pup). It's already been nearly 4 months. I am reaching the point where I am actually thinking about getting another dog. Not yet, but in the New Year. The good thing is that I am actually beginning to feel cheered by the idea of having another furry pal to share life (and bed) with. We need doggy energy in our house. Not to say I don't miss Maris, our exceptional pup... Just last night I'd walked past the place we used to go together and it hit me. I came home and during dinner I told my hubby about how I'd been hit with a wave of grief. We talked about her and I sat there crying all over my corn on the cob. It happens.... I will always miss her.... but I am healing.
So, I am doing better CFS wise. Have more energy and have not been "in a major dip" ( as they say in Gupta program) in some time. I was kind of sick for a week about a month ago and still have aching glands, ( the darn little things just ache and ache, so I do a lot of visualization of them draining and being enveloped in healing light), but have been able to get out and do things. I am not bed ridden.
The hardest part has been anxious depression that set in in a big way. I'd tried so many meds since last Novemeber and nothing was working or I couldn't tolerate the side effects. I had 2 ER visits ( one of the meds made me keep feeling like I was going to pass out, etc... and the others were killing my belly), but fotunately I was not having a heart attack. Minor detail....So, my MD recommended I get into a treatment program for the depression for a bit until we get this med thing figured out as I was not functioning and my husband was ready to rip his hair out with frustration. Our poor hubbies... Good Lord.... I go just 3 mornings a week, but the structure is helping and being with the staff and other kind folks who are going through the same stuff is supportive.
My mood and anxiety are better, but my stomach is beginning to bother me again, so I don't know if I will be able to tolerate the med I'm on. SOOOOOO, I will probably need yet another med change and who knows how that will go. IF I slide off the cliff at least the MD is there and the program is there - for now. I've done one test for stomach function (the stomach emptying test) which turned to be Low-Normal. I am scheduled to do 2 other tests: Ph and Motility study, but they can't see me until October 17! I could throw a few choice words around right now, but I'd probably get thrown off DS. Use your imaginations!
AS for my work with the Gupta program: as Bonnie Raitt once sang: "It's Too Soon To Tell", HOWEVER, I do believe it is working for me. Ashok Gupta says you really have to give it a good 6 months and then up to a year to know for sure if it has been effective. AND he says if it doesn't help after 6 months you return it for your $ back. Anyway, I have not had any bad 'dips' since Maris died and I had just barely begun the program when she passed so that didn't really count. I also seem to be calmer and more even all the way around. Example: Yesterday I made an online donation to a cause I feel passionate about. Today I realized I had donated to the OPPOSITION!! of where I wanted to donate. The OPPOSITION!!! ON-LINE! I usually freak out and become very agitated, anxious, can't deal with the $$/on-line/business stuff, etc... (not my strong suit - I do people stuff way better) and then beat myself to a pulp for being a f..ing idiot to have made such a stupid mistake. This mental state can go on for hours, days....(Are you getting the picture?) So, today, when I learned about the error, I swore a few times, I must admit, then I got out my credit card and called the bank, who told me to call the credit card company, which I did, and 1/2 hour later the entire episode was cleared up. I did not beat myself up or throw myself on the wood chipper or have to take a xanax. I cannot tell you how different that was for me. It's all about the work I am doing with the Gupta program to calm my CNS, to love myself, and to go about things without all the ATTITUDE that wears us down to a pulp which in turn makes us sick because our nervous systems are spewing out toxins like a geyser every time we get upset and freaked out and worried and ruminative and then we are toxic from the overload, etc......
SO, I am not by any means fully healed, am still dealing with 'stuff', but I feel optimistic and hopeful in a way I never have before. I am fully committed, though, do dontinuiing on with the Gupta program, every day, all throughout the day, and will probably use a good part of it for the rest of my life because it is such healing help. I am not ready to tell you all to TRY IT, but you might want to think about it and read about it. Just google the Amygdala Retraining Program - Ashok Gupta. Ya got nothin' to lose but a few dollars and your time lying around. I am also doing his webinars and I talk with a coach who is ahealed person from the program. It is all so affordable. When I think of all the $$$ I've spent seeing MD's supplements, you name it ( I could have bought a house) paying for Ashock's thing is a no-brainer.
So that's my up-date you beautiful people. I love and respect all of you so very much and wish that we could all be together somehow, but until then I send all of you virtual hugs and much love. There is no place like DS, there's no place like DS, There's no place like DS ...
XXOO
Denise
It's been a long time since I journaled, but here I am. I guess the last time I wrote was after Maris died (my pup). It's already been nearly 4 months. I am reaching the point where I am actually thinking about getting another dog. Not yet, but in the New Year. The good thing is that I am actually beginning to feel cheered by the idea of having another furry pal to share life (and bed) with. We need doggy energy in our house. Not to say I don't miss Maris, our exceptional pup... Just last night I'd walked past the place we used to go together and it hit me. I came home and during dinner I told my hubby about how I'd been hit with a wave of grief. We talked about her and I sat there crying all over my corn on the cob. It happens.... I will always miss her.... but I am healing.
So, I am doing better CFS wise. Have more energy and have not been "in a major dip" ( as they say in Gupta program) in some time. I was kind of sick for a week about a month ago and still have aching glands, ( the darn little things just ache and ache, so I do a lot of visualization of them draining and being enveloped in healing light), but have been able to get out and do things. I am not bed ridden.
The hardest part has been anxious depression that set in in a big way. I'd tried so many meds since last Novemeber and nothing was working or I couldn't tolerate the side effects. I had 2 ER visits ( one of the meds made me keep feeling like I was going to pass out, etc... and the others were killing my belly), but fotunately I was not having a heart attack. Minor detail....So, my MD recommended I get into a treatment program for the depression for a bit until we get this med thing figured out as I was not functioning and my husband was ready to rip his hair out with frustration. Our poor hubbies... Good Lord.... I go just 3 mornings a week, but the structure is helping and being with the staff and other kind folks who are going through the same stuff is supportive.
My mood and anxiety are better, but my stomach is beginning to bother me again, so I don't know if I will be able to tolerate the med I'm on. SOOOOOO, I will probably need yet another med change and who knows how that will go. IF I slide off the cliff at least the MD is there and the program is there - for now. I've done one test for stomach function (the stomach emptying test) which turned to be Low-Normal. I am scheduled to do 2 other tests: Ph and Motility study, but they can't see me until October 17! I could throw a few choice words around right now, but I'd probably get thrown off DS. Use your imaginations!
AS for my work with the Gupta program: as Bonnie Raitt once sang: "It's Too Soon To Tell", HOWEVER, I do believe it is working for me. Ashok Gupta says you really have to give it a good 6 months and then up to a year to know for sure if it has been effective. AND he says if it doesn't help after 6 months you return it for your $ back. Anyway, I have not had any bad 'dips' since Maris died and I had just barely begun the program when she passed so that didn't really count. I also seem to be calmer and more even all the way around. Example: Yesterday I made an online donation to a cause I feel passionate about. Today I realized I had donated to the OPPOSITION!! of where I wanted to donate. The OPPOSITION!!! ON-LINE! I usually freak out and become very agitated, anxious, can't deal with the $$/on-line/business stuff, etc... (not my strong suit - I do people stuff way better) and then beat myself to a pulp for being a f..ing idiot to have made such a stupid mistake. This mental state can go on for hours, days....(Are you getting the picture?) So, today, when I learned about the error, I swore a few times, I must admit, then I got out my credit card and called the bank, who told me to call the credit card company, which I did, and 1/2 hour later the entire episode was cleared up. I did not beat myself up or throw myself on the wood chipper or have to take a xanax. I cannot tell you how different that was for me. It's all about the work I am doing with the Gupta program to calm my CNS, to love myself, and to go about things without all the ATTITUDE that wears us down to a pulp which in turn makes us sick because our nervous systems are spewing out toxins like a geyser every time we get upset and freaked out and worried and ruminative and then we are toxic from the overload, etc......
SO, I am not by any means fully healed, am still dealing with 'stuff', but I feel optimistic and hopeful in a way I never have before. I am fully committed, though, do dontinuiing on with the Gupta program, every day, all throughout the day, and will probably use a good part of it for the rest of my life because it is such healing help. I am not ready to tell you all to TRY IT, but you might want to think about it and read about it. Just google the Amygdala Retraining Program - Ashok Gupta. Ya got nothin' to lose but a few dollars and your time lying around. I am also doing his webinars and I talk with a coach who is ahealed person from the program. It is all so affordable. When I think of all the $$$ I've spent seeing MD's supplements, you name it ( I could have bought a house) paying for Ashock's thing is a no-brainer.
So that's my up-date you beautiful people. I love and respect all of you so very much and wish that we could all be together somehow, but until then I send all of you virtual hugs and much love. There is no place like DS, there's no place like DS, There's no place like DS ...
XXOO
Denise
Replies
Hello, Denise. I\'m so glad you didn\'t beat yourself up. I\'ve been making some pretty crazy mistakes that are so unlike me, but I\'ve had to have a bit of compassion on myself. I am doing my best and I know you are as well. It sounds like the Gupta program is going well. Like you say, you have to give it some time. I am so glad you are grieving Maris\' death well. No one likes grief. It sucks, but you are letting it come when you need to and beginning to see a light at the end of this. You\'ll always miss Maris, but I\'m glad you are able to envision yourself getting another dog. I liked what you said about seeing your glands draining, in your mind\'s eye. I do that too. I try to picture what I need to have happen in my body. You are a dear. Love you.
Hi - glad you are having a remission and taking advantage of it.
Oh it hurts when our fur babies leave us...I still tear up about my 21 yr old cat who passed in 2004. They touch our spirits, but we are needed by other little loves who are waiting for forever homes, so when we have new furry friends, we aren\'t replacing our passed lovies, just giving love to new friends.
Glad to hear Gupta\'s program is working for you!
Ugh, stomach testing. The gastroparesis test is so awful, just laying there still for so long knowing that radiation is traveling through your gut. Hope the other testing gets you some answers. I have chronic gastritis and did 8 mo of testing to figure it all out so I get it, believe me. Probiotics may help, as well as enzymes when you eat.
sending hugs from New England, with hopes for continued out of bed time!
Denise, it is good to hear from you and that you are doing relatively well. Yes. that beating up ourselves deal has got to go. I use to do that all the time and now I can catch myself doing it and put a stop to it. I feel soooo much better. Good job on handling that donation thing calmly.! And thank you for the info on the Gupta program. I am going to check it out. Renee
Thank you all for your comments and loving responses. Things are going relatively well and I\'m planning on it continuing! As for the Gupta program: someone asked him this question during one of our webinars: \"Well, why should I put all the effort into this program?\" He laughed with amusement and responded, \"It\'s the only game in town!!\" And I really understood why he said that because there ARE no other \'cures\' out there and we can only gain by doing this program. It\'s only positive results in one way or another, on differing levels. So, that\'s my cheer leading for the day. I\'m curious to see how I do over the winter as that is always my hardest season. Time and committment will tell.
Love you all and wish you wellness....and peace.
Hugs, Denise. I was so glad to see you are experiencing some positive things right now. I think a new fur baby would be such a good idea - they are a lot of work sometimes when we are out of stamina, but they give so much more than they take in energy. Your doctor was wise to send you to a therapy group while the hunt for a safe, effective med is going on. I\'m glad you have been able to participate. I have heard good things about the Gupta program- I\'ve had several friends on DS who have used it. You already had a victory with the donation mix-up. Good for you!
Hello there gorgeous you.So good that you managed to journal again.I think about writing one but the longer I leave it the more if freaks me out.
I think you are doing well in your recovery from your grief and loss of Maris . It just takes time and you are certainly getting there.
How wonderful that your energy has increased and you are out and about again. The support group sounds like a very practical idea to help you through and also take some pressure of your husband.The Gupta program is obviously ageeing with you. I hope that things ease up a bit and I can get it together to start on it also Ha ha.You donated to the opposition.I found that funny although I do understand how you must have felt at the time.However you handled it well you cool calm little Gupta cookie .Gotta go girlfriend.I am sleep deprived and rather brain dead.Love to you sweet Dee soul.xo
Hi there! Sorry so late to reply. I hope you are still feeling an ease in your symptoms! Love it when my dear friends get some relief from thearly illnesses !
Did you decide to welcome another fur baby into your life? I know how hard that can be but you would be such a huge blessing to a furry friend in need! I think Maris would be happy to see you happy as well. I still cry for my Aley and Arty. But I really believe they want me to have lots of fur love in my life.
I\'ve heard nothing but good things about the Gupta program. So glad you have found something that helps you get back to peace! And happy to hear you\'ve found a support group that is helpful. How are things going with the gut issues?
Sending love and hugs your way!! (((())))
Sorry I missed this entry at the time. Great that your stress levels are going down and that you are coping with things better. Glad the Gupta is helping...that\'s really good. Hugs xx