Up and Down
Woke up crying again this morning. I was dreaming of Gene again and I didn't want to wake up because then I feel so sad and overwhelmed. I cried for about two hours then decided to drag myself out of bed, get dressed and run to the store for some last minute items. I've got company coming today and tomorrow, so that should keep my mind off my troubles for a while. Gene's Aunt and Uncle will be here from Ohio, and Gene's brother in law and his wife are coming down from Pennsylvania today. Tomorrow I'll have my son and his friends here so I'll try to make the best of it all. Although I like having people around me, sometimes it's very overwhelming and then I just want to be alone again. I'm having trouble eating right now. The emptiness inside makes me feel sick to my stomach and I don't feel like eating anything. Then I get so hungry that I'm sick to my stomach. Seems some days I can't win either way. Then there's sleeping--I sleep too much and I am still waking up every night around 3:30 a.m. only to look at the clock and fall back to sleep. I think the problem is I am not getting "good" sleep. I'm restless at night--tossing and turning. I miss having Gene to cuddle against and hold on to. Today I'm thankful for all the friends here on DS that have been so caring and supportive. Peace to all of you.
Replies
It\'s amazing how alike our experiences are....I too am having sleep and digestion problems. I guess it\'s all part of this process that we have been forced into enduring. Enjoy your guests and if you need to get alone for a bit..I think it\'s perfectly okay to excuse yourself for a bit so you can cry or just do some deep breathing.
I hope you have a real nice weekend with your guests. You deserve some good times. Let me know how the weekend goes. Hugs to you, Sharon
Sometimes it helps to place a body pillow next to you in bed. It gives you something to hold while you sleep.
I find that it helps to take antacid pills and eat at least 3-4 times a day, in small amounts. Hope this helps.
Mike
It will get better! I promise. I didnt sleep at night for almost 2 years, bc of what I saw when I shut my eyes, and even worse when they were open.
Restoril is a good RX sleeping pill. Ambien and lunesta are not good for people who \"wake up\" at night.
This is a sedative and will knock you right out.
If you are still having trouble, try taking something called diphydrimine.It is the main ingredient in bendaryl. I take 50mg and start with 1. Then can go to two if i need it. They sell these at any CVS or walgreens, or drug store.. They are about 3 dollars.
I hope this helps you. Know that in time, it will get easier. You will get used to the idea that he is in heaven now..
If you need the extra comfort I see nothing wrong in sleeping in one of his old shirts, that still smell like him. Spraying some of his colgone on the pillow. It will make you feel close. And help you spark those good memories you had.
Love
Laura