uh oh

uuughhhh.  i feel like drinking.  on the verge of drinking.  i need to stop myeslf.  it's been two weeks.  before that i had gone months.  i just don't have the resolve not to right now, it seems so appealing and relaxing, and i'm trying to tell myself that i can control it and drink in moderation, just for tonight.   i really should just not.  i'm always grateful when i don't.