ugh...fighting the oncoming anxiety
I have not been on here lately. I am struggling with so many things. Last night i got ready for bed and was playing a game on my phone when he came down the hall to go to the bathroom. He said..I think we need to make a time to talk since you are back here on your phone every night now. My heart immediately started pounding. Eventually I calmed enough to go to sleep. This morning once he was awake I asked him when he wanted to talk. He said I just want to know where we stand. I said we are just roommates now. He said that's all I wanted to know.
I said I don't know what to do. I don't want to move out if it's going to screw you and the kids. He said I'm not asking you to move out. He said you can't worry about us. you have to do what will make you happy. He wanted to know who I was talking to at night on my phone and the computer. I said I have a few friends I chat with but I have one friend in particular when it's later at night but it's not a romantic thing.
I said can you make it here in this house without me? And what about Remi. I know how much you love her too and I don't want to take her away from you. She loves you too. Again he said I can't worry about that.
I am super wound up and my heart is just pounding. I feel kind of sick right now. He took it so calmly but I feel like the storm is still coming. Somehow I will make it through this.
I said I don't know what to do. I don't want to move out if it's going to screw you and the kids. He said I'm not asking you to move out. He said you can't worry about us. you have to do what will make you happy. He wanted to know who I was talking to at night on my phone and the computer. I said I have a few friends I chat with but I have one friend in particular when it's later at night but it's not a romantic thing.
I said can you make it here in this house without me? And what about Remi. I know how much you love her too and I don't want to take her away from you. She loves you too. Again he said I can't worry about that.
I am super wound up and my heart is just pounding. I feel kind of sick right now. He took it so calmly but I feel like the storm is still coming. Somehow I will make it through this.
Replies
yes you will make it through this! though painful, bringing this all out in the open is what needs to be done. we all deserve honesty and to know our place in things. perhaps there will be a storm, perhaps not..you know best about his behavior, but you were open and honest and thats all he could really want... I am very proud of you, it was a very difficult thing to do. I am here to support in any way I can.
HUGGS!!
wow, Thanks Jimmy..You are the best.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-arylo/when-love-isnt-enough-3-r_1_b_1253757.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Caim%7Cdl12%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D133596
I still feel like I\'m gonna be sick
Sometimes, sweet friend, the storm comes for a reason and things are better once the rain has stopped. You have to keep doing what you need to do and knowing that it will be okay - you have to keep believing that. Be open and honest and let things sort themselves out - it will be okay in the end, one way or another. it will be okay. You re going to make it. Much love to you, my friend. You are not alone in this. Peace to you.
Rule #3 is the best of all the other two...
Your right, you will make it though this. But be aware that he is pushing your anxiety buttons... Eric
I hurt for all of you and hope it is all soon resolved.
Take good care.
((hugs))
:-) Patricia