Two Weeks Today!
I had an 8 AM breakfast meeting at a fancy hotel near the casino. When the other person didn't show, I normally would have found this to be an excuse just to "stop" at the casino. But this time, thanks to self-ban, I drove past. I did wave a little. I did look at it a little wistfully.
My feelings are mixed. Some days are better than others. I feel simultaneously guilty about all of the time and money I wasted there in the past, and wistful that I can't go back. It's a very strange dichotomy.
Most of the time now, though, I realize that this is for the best. I've gotten more work done for my business in the past two weeks than the past two months. I feel a little ashamed of that, but I assume those feelings will leave as well.
I'm starting to figure out ways to infuse happiness and fun and excitement into my day: Talking to my co-workers about fun things outside of work. Going out for lunch (but eating a healthy salad, I don't want to substitute one addiction for another). Taking a walk outside. Meditating. Reading. Buying new books and Tony Robbins tapes.
I'm trying. I really, really am.
My feelings are mixed. Some days are better than others. I feel simultaneously guilty about all of the time and money I wasted there in the past, and wistful that I can't go back. It's a very strange dichotomy.
Most of the time now, though, I realize that this is for the best. I've gotten more work done for my business in the past two weeks than the past two months. I feel a little ashamed of that, but I assume those feelings will leave as well.
I'm starting to figure out ways to infuse happiness and fun and excitement into my day: Talking to my co-workers about fun things outside of work. Going out for lunch (but eating a healthy salad, I don't want to substitute one addiction for another). Taking a walk outside. Meditating. Reading. Buying new books and Tony Robbins tapes.
I'm trying. I really, really am.
Replies