turning the corner.....

So, this is the 17th day I haven't drank.  Yeah, it feels great to be sober.  I really feel like I turned the corner.  I simply do not have time to drink nor a desire.  The other night at my friend Erica's house, a friend of her's brought over some whiskey and the other three of us there didn't drink and I just kinda watched her friend get a little tipsy--nothing sloppy or even crazy--but it just made me think that I'm not that person that wants to drink anymore.  Drinking just dims my intelligence and any kind of grace I have, it makes the things I say ridiculous and the way I act obnoxious.......and in most people it's kind of the same story.  (i mean, and of course worst case scenario, which manifested about half the time for me--alchol would make batshit crazy or just passout like some braindead zombie)

 I want to be independent and accomplishing things!  I want to be living a life that is interesting and healthful.   There are so many challenges in life and drinking just turns me into a incompetent child.  I see that in the past I drank so I could forget about the future, and shut down my brain and only focus on those things that gave me pleasure.  It was a free pass....or so I thought.  Now it's been a decade of this farce--thinking that drinking is a good thing, a fun activity, some form of delightful release and relief.  Some innocuous and awesome hedonism that the gods had provided us so we could paint our reality with optimism, joy and humor.  AHHHHH!!!  nope.  nope.  nope.  of course there were many times that I had a swell time drinking---an exciting time drinking, a  riotously hilarious time drinking, a deep and meaningful time drinking.  But you know what?  I have had those moments without drinking.  And now when I add it up I realize that the source of the majority of my problems stems from drinking.  And though I have known this for quite some time, it's FINALLY clicked and I can feel it.  I"m that person that will confidently say, with no wavering, that I don't drink when I am offered a spirit in a situation.   
But now I know, though, after years of trying to quit, that it takes more than knowing all of this.  It takes cultivating a life worth living, a life that is exciting, goals that are invigorating, and becoming attached to the vision of person I want to be....and that person is rad.  I'm halfway there I think.  And I just want to keep going, and drinking has no no no part in that.  What's so awesome about not drinking, is that although all these people without horrible alcoholic tendencies who get to enjoy those glasses of wine or sip a cocktail at the beach and relax.....all in all, it's an energy drain, a health detriment....it makes you fatter, lazier, less sharp and age quicker.  So, we win!!!   We don't need to drink from the poison well anymore.  It's amazing to be clear and energized and understanding that this moment has in it everything I need.
I think I wore it out.  I see through the drinking experience.  It has nothing to offer me.  That feeling of giddiness or slight mood enhancement---it's a sham!!!!  And I'm not a child.  It's like a sugar rush--fleeting and ultimately toxic.  
......