Turning tables ...

Not sure how it happened but the ball seems to be in my court...

sometimes I think god plays me..

do I let my heart guide me and fall back into this marriage and feel all of the things I've been feeling? Do I walk away and continue on my path knowing I'll have weak moments and possibly regret not trying for the umpteenth time? 

Was I taking the easy way out and feeling sorry for myself because the decision was being made for me? 

Curtain number one or two bob?

They say when you don't know what to do, that is when you do nothing. 

Today I will do nothing as far as that goes. 

Why is this so hard? It shouldn't be so fucking hard. 

I deserve all good, beautiful, wonderful things.. I do.