Turning my anger into productivity

OK.  I'm doing much better today.  After I signed off yesterday I got my butt out and mowed my own grass.  My neighbor and his son have been doing it for me since Gene died.  All I can say is I'm glad the riding mower and the push mower both started right up for me or else I may have set them on fire the way I was feeling yesterday.  I did feel alot better just being outside and being productive instead of sitting alone being angry and sad. This morning I got up and went to the farm.  Gene used to take me every Mother's Day to get my vegetable plants and flowers.  I just couldn't bring myself to go there by myself on Mother's Day, but managed this morning. I got out in the garden and planted tomatoes, jalepenos, basil, sage and rosemary.  I also got some new ferns for out front and some coleus for a little color.  I don't get a lot of sun out there due to the trees, but ferns seem to love it and it gives my garden some much needed texture. My son stopped over a little while ago and gave me big "high fives" for making it to work all week, mowing my own grass and getting out to garden.  I know he worries about me and tries so hard to be strong but he told me that he has bad hours, rather than bad days and that he thinks of his dad often, especially when something goes wrong.  Gene was strong enough for both Paul and I, and we both miss having him to turn to in times of trouble.   So today I'm grateful for having the strength to get out and be able to garden.  Hope you all have a pleasant weekend.  It's beautiful here today.