Tuesday again

Wow, time seems to be flying by..I can't believe it has been a week since I wrote in my journal.  Lots of anxiety over the weekend.  I was feeling really sick yesterday morning but once I got to work and got busy it finally passed.  Maybe as someone told me I just think too much...but that was part of the point of moving out on my own...to force myself to face things and maybe figure this crap out. 
I met someone over the weekend.  For the first time in ten years I let someone else kiss me.  Of course after I felt super guilty like I was now the cheater my boyfriend always said I was....I am sure that is what got the anxiety ball rolling.  I guess I am learning some things though.  I had not realized how much I had missed affection until it was suddenly there again.  My ex was never a very demonstrative person and I guess over the years I stopped even trying somewhat.  Now I meet this person who genuinely likes to hug and hold hands all the time.  It was overwhelming at first and of course started the anxiety also.  Like anything doesn't start my anxiety lately?  I guess because I am pushing my comfort level.  A couple of my friends suggested that I only feel guilty because my ex does not know I am dating and that maybe it would go away if I just told him.
Then I started to wonder if it is really fair to try and keep him hanging around just to take care of my dog while I have this surgery...I think he will come over weds night and I may try and tell him.  He loves the dog as much as I do.  Maybe he would still help me anyway.