Tues July 5th

Back from the mountains.  It was ok...at least I did not feel sick while we were gone.  How can everything always be such a mess?  The 4th was just great...NOT.  We ended up not speaking ...he ate outside and I ate in the house..well what little I could force down anyway.  I went to bed early and slept right through the fireworks.  I am so numb I can't think of anything to even write here.  Summer should be about fun.  I can't even remember what that is anymore. 
My pain has been higher than usual this weekend and this morning is not any better.  I am sure that being in pain every day does nothing to help my mood.  I know I feel worse when it's been grinding on me for a few days.  I tried taking some more ibuprofen...not really helping much today.  People always say...really?  that's all you take?  Truth is not being in control makes the anxiety much worse and for a lot of drugs the kids dosage could have me drooling till next Tuesday so no matter now much it hurts I won't take prescription stuff.  I know I need to find a way to get out and get some more exercise, no matter how hot it is.  It always helps when I force things to keep moving around. 



What words of comfort can I offer you at this time? I\'m not sure as I feel pretty low myself but have read your journal entry and have some understanding and really wish you well. Sorry to hear that you are in pain though, that must be terrible. Keep sharing those thoughts. With you always, blessings. Andrew