Try not to throw up...
Try not to throw up you dumb bitch...oh?? a little stress? and what the hell is this inability to journal all about? I have no idea...but it's annoying. It's a tool I have used faithfully for years...so why the block?
Maybe I just need to come in here and pound something out ...good or bad..
I finally made the decision...I am going to move to San Diego. There is nothing for me here...whatever stupid little hope...yes, it's there...you hate that it's there...but it is...whatever stupid little hope that he would give up the alcohol and the new girlfriend and want to work things out...that is NEVER coming so put on your big girl panties and figure your shit out.
I had asked to be allowed to work remotely from San diego..at least in the short term to get settled. That got shot down...and the vet bills just keep piling in..another 400 today. Can't seem to beat this infection she has going on..it's probably doggie MRSA or something like that.
Having so many things up in the air today is making me completely unfocused. I have not been able to get any work done. I have no concentration level on anything at all. This too shall pass
Replies
Im sorry your doggie is so sick. Hopefully the vets care is top quality healing for this pet. Moving anywhere without work lined up your sort of shooting self in foot. Just saying get that resume out there in san deigo asap
yeah, Ive noticed u have written in a while, I can see u have a lot of emotions swirling around. Please don't be so hard on yourself, its natural to have hope- even when we know deep down inside its not logical- logic and emotion can not exist side by side- u spend a chunk of your life with this man, u will have many levels of feelings to process, let it out, and if that means throwing up, hold your hair back and do it, get it out until u feel better...I pray that your dog gets better, these vet bills are crazy- maybe u can work out a payment plan? and pay a certain amount per month...above all, be good to yourself...that voice in your head, that your struggling with, is not yours...the problems in front of u may seem great... but u are far Greater..find your way back to believe in yourself again...these words may seem hollow to u in your current state of mind, but u have been a source of great strength to me, and I can only pray I have a positive affect on u...love & light to u my friend xoxooxoxoxo
I thought that I was having a f'd up day till I read your journal. The only advice I have for you is "remember to breathe." In through the nose and out through the mouth works best in times of stress. Let the fears melt away while you clear your thoughts. Remember that we love you and hope tomorrow is better.