troubles
i'm having some family troubles that i can't really talk about until after
i talk to my therapist. they're heavy and make me confused and make life
complex. but maybe just sticking to my values and my sense of survival
and respect we're each handling that might help me.
i'll clean house today, have my appointment - and then go over to my folks
house hopefully to get a chore, they need help with, out of the way.
Replies
everyone has different values, and will handle situations in different ways. Sometimes I can appreciate
what their challenges are, other times I just need to respect that is their individual - we are not all
the same and so having some distance may protect you or me from confusion.
Sorry that you're having family troubles, Mark. I agree that appreciating others' challenges is helpful. When I feel hurt by another family member, I remember that he/she grew up in the same environment, shaping current behavior. I hope that your therapist helps you feel better about things. We're here for you when you're ready to share more about it.
thanks susan!
". . .just sticking to? ? ?"
". . .just need to? ? ?"
such use of the word, "just" gives me images of the world's legal libraries, all in one library. endless aisles of shelves justing the just. me duele la cabeza. . . just just it all! ! ! how did such a complicated concept come to make things sound just easy?
getting back on topic. . .
however hard it is for me to just mind my own business while my loved ones are suffering is harder than hard, but the more i just do it, the more i believe votes of confidence that they can work out their own problems are far more helpful than asserting my just opines.
I'm sorry you're dealing with some family issues, Mark. Speaking in general terms, I've found that active listening really helps. I believe that God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason. As you've said, keeping in mind our family members' own challenges can give us perspective, and help us not to take things personally. Also, I try to keep in mind that I can't "fix" things. People have their own issues that only they can resolve. Sometimes, just being there for them is enough. I hope that whatever is going on is easily resolved. Good luck at your therapy appointment today! I hope she's able to provide you with some insight. Hugs.
Sorry you're having troubles, my friend. I hope your appt goes well and things work themselves out.
Thanks so much Arfie, Judy and Mich!
I pray you get your difficulties taken care of Mark.
thanks becky!