Trick to Stay Positive
I've had chronic depression for, oh, probably about 50 years. I struggle with ME/CFS/SEID every day, but the depression is the dangerous one -- it could actually kill me. It's come close. (Very well now, thank you, it's well-controlled with medication and a counselor.)
The point is, it is dangerous in a very real sense for me to have a negative or self-pitying outlook on ANYthing. Humor helps (taken in the right light, EVERYTHING can be funny), but I use another trick and I wonder if anyone else does too.
I *never* refer to it as "MY illness/ME/CFS/SEID", EVER.
I refer to it as "THE illness/ME/CFS/SEID", or "THIS illness/ME/CFS/SEID", but never as mine.
I refuse to claim it as something I own. I acknowledge that I have to (*get to"? There's a positive spin!) DEAL with it, but I keep it at arm's length from WHO I AM with that little mind trick.
It helps me keep it separate from ME; I try to think of it like I do the weather: some days are better that average, some aren't. I can enjoy the good days, and wear a hat and slicker, or just stay inside, on the bad ones. Cursing it won't change it; all it does is make me feel worse. Who needs that?
Anyone else do this? Just curious.
Hugs to All, Jack
The point is, it is dangerous in a very real sense for me to have a negative or self-pitying outlook on ANYthing. Humor helps (taken in the right light, EVERYTHING can be funny), but I use another trick and I wonder if anyone else does too.
I *never* refer to it as "MY illness/ME/CFS/SEID", EVER.
I refer to it as "THE illness/ME/CFS/SEID", or "THIS illness/ME/CFS/SEID", but never as mine.
I refuse to claim it as something I own. I acknowledge that I have to (*get to"? There's a positive spin!) DEAL with it, but I keep it at arm's length from WHO I AM with that little mind trick.
It helps me keep it separate from ME; I try to think of it like I do the weather: some days are better that average, some aren't. I can enjoy the good days, and wear a hat and slicker, or just stay inside, on the bad ones. Cursing it won't change it; all it does is make me feel worse. Who needs that?
Anyone else do this? Just curious.
Hugs to All, Jack
Replies
Yeah, Jack. I like your take on it. I try to remember not to refer to it as \"my\" illness either. It\'s an intruder I am not going to claim as mine, but there\'s no sense cursing him out either. Sometimes I forget to watch my word choice, but it really is important. I don\'t want some things to be identity statements (\"I am depressed\" vs. \"I feel depressed.\"). Depression, CFS, exhaustion are not my identity. I am so much more than that. Thanks for the reminder, Jack.
Yes, Jack this is an excellent reminder I use to use. I needed this post, because I Am not CFS or cancer. Thanks to people like you here I can manage to have some joy in my life, even though I feel sick and devastatingly weak.
Thank you for posting your considerate share to focus on.
Blessing
YES! Absolutely! I agree. Also, the words \"crash\" and \"relapse\" are energetically very heavy. I use the word \"dip\".
I\'m glad you\'re feeling better!!!
Good, I\'m glad others do and it helps them too. Also glad my reminder was timely for some.
I USE \"crash\" and \"relapse\", but I find myself referring to that event as \"tipped over\" more and more.
(Where does that come from? \"Firestarter\" by Stephen King. The little girl was immensely powerful, but her dad could run out of juice and that\'s the term he used for it. I like it.)
Wow. I\'ve long been amazed at what a difference semantics make, but I never thought of it in relation to THIS illness. Thank you so much, Jack. You, too, Diane and Heather. Some of the language hacks I learned while raising kids are: \"Remember\" rather than \"Don\'t forget\", \"I am mildly annoyed\" rather than \"I am so mad\", and, my favorite when someone cuts me off in traffic,\"That was discourteous\" rather than \"You @$#&! A$$\".
\"That was discourteous\" -- I love it!!! :-D
Makes sense to remember not to claim it as our own.However the little bugger won\'t go away and keeps hanging around us.Take a hike cfs . You\'ve had your fun, now it\'s time to go.Seriously though I agree with you Jack and I do fall into the trap of identifying myself as my illness sometimes.Especially on those really bad days.xo
Yeah, Di, some days are better than others and others .... aren\'t. Some can be turned around with a little leverage. That\'s when I try to remember my language and gratitude fu. xoxo