Trait 7: We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
Trait 7: We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
This is me! All the way. I have been aware of this for a very long time now. I even tell people, I am a puss and can't even stand for what I want or beleive. It is very annoying!!! THe entire time I was taknig care of my father I was buying him his chew tobacco... nasty. Many times he would get drunk and passout, only to drool out the chew all over the bed or floor or himself! He would argue with me and yell at me and treat me unkindly. So finally I told him NO MORE CHEW! You're cut off... why am I spending my hard earned money on you??? Then, he would be sober and do a shitty bathroom cleaning, dishes and sit and chat with me... an hour later "Is it possible to get a can of chew?" AAARRGGGG!!!!!!!!!! Me: "Yea, I guess...." and BAMB. He sucked me right back in! HOW THE HELL do I always sit back and let him treat me like shit, shit, shit for so damn long... I think I am reaching the ANGER part of my healing process... less guilt for him and more anger for myself!
I am excited to the future of holidays and just nights of relaxing! I can pour a glass of wine without the voulture swirling me asking "Can I have a glass?" with his big doe eyes and holding his hands together in an annoying begging motion!! Like, No you may not... I paid good money for this wine and I would liek to enjoy it with out having to share with someone who is just going to get drunk after STEALING it anyways and tell me what a shitty daughter I am after I have done paid ALL the bills, bought ALL the food and then treated you to a bottle of Coke, can of chew and a freaking snickers bar! Screw you!
I FINALLY stood up for myslef when I kicked him out and as hard, and heart breaknig as that was... I did it and so far... NOTHING bad has happened to me... I had all these senerios playing in my head and NOTHING has come true or bad has happened...
I thinkI may have set myself free!
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Yay! I had some inlaws who raised an entire set of 3 broken, addicted children who, at 40, were still unable to leave home and were living off their parents. My wife was the only one who was able to hold down a job, but she was really a wreck, emotionally, who needed to live close enough that she could visit whenever she wanted to.
Johnnycake: I am glad your wife got out! It is so hard to have one, let along THREE!!!!! Wow. I couldn't imagine. That would be tough to have to grow up with!!!! :<