Too far gone?
I'm very upset about my nephew. First off we have been wondering if he has adhd or not. He can't sit still or concentrate, talks all the time, has a terrible time following directions and paying attention to things. Now, his pcp said that because he has good grades that he must not have adhd. But my psych and therapist disagree. So, now his parents are going to just leave it at that. His pcp said that this was all because he's on electronics to much and he should limit his time to an hour a day. All the kid does is either play his damn video games or watches these ridiculous videos of gamers playing video games. If he does not have adha he's getting the equivalent of a psychiatric disorder by being on the electronics too much and if he does have adhd, he's most likely going to make it worse. Oh, and he's starting to talk as if video games are reality too.
He's a very smart kid, I can honestly say he's smarter than me, (that actually doesn't say much though). The kid read all of the harry potter books in 1st grade and was quized on them by his grandfather and did well and remebered them all. I try to get to him to do other things and will even often offer to do things with him. But he turns me down or if I force him to do something, he puts no effort into it and will almost try and punish me and intentionally frustrate me so I stop what we're doing.
To get him to do something else, I even bought him an electric guitar for his birthday that he said he wanted to learn how to play. I spent a lot of money on it and even sold something precious to me to help pay for it. He loved my gift. In fact his jaw dropped when I gave it to him and he seemed the most excited by it then all his other presents. But wtf now he won't play it. I'm extremely disapointed, but not surprised when he turns me down everytime I've ask if he wants to play it. And really pissed at myself because I should have known better.
And also, it also pisses the hell out of me that I'm not backed up by his parents about getting him off the electronics. It stresses the hell out of me that it's become my responsibilty. It comes across as they don't give a damn. Hopefully I'm wrong and he isn't jeopradizing his future by harming his brain development. Too much electronic time can not only lead to the problems I've mentioned but also things like sleeping disorders and crap. I feel there's not much left I can do with him and he may be too far gone.
Replies
Your nephew is fortunate to have an uncle as caring as you! How old is he? I understand your frustration about the electronics! You and I grew up in a different time, when more emphasis was placed on spending time outside with friends. My parents definitely wouldn't have allowed me to sit in front of a screen for hours at a time.
First, let me give you some hope. : ) For years, two of my nephews were completely glued to their video games. That was all they wanted for Christmas, and their parents didn't seem to do anything to curb what, to me, seemed like an addiction. Last year, one of them graduated from high school with honors and will be working as an electrical lineman. The other will graduate high school this year, also with honors, and will be going into the military. They are articulate, polite, and kind young men who turned out just fine, and it's likely that your nephew will be OK too.
That said, it makes sense that you're concerned about your nephew, and about the possibility that he has ADHD. His PCP does make a good point about electronics contributing to your nephew's lack of concentration, difficulty following directions, and inability to sit still. Several studies have shown that too much technology can lead to ADHD-like symptoms. Here's an article from the Cleveland Clinic that briefly mentions one such study:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/can-too-much-tech-cause-adhd-symptoms-in-your-child/
So, how to reach him? This may seem strange, because it will appear to go against what you're trying to accomplish. Does he have a video game that allows him to use the electric guitar you purchased? Not Guitar Hero, but rather one like Rocksmith+ where you use the real instrument. Rocksmith+ would allow him to learn to play songs, which might then lead to him playing the songs on the guitar without the game. Also, have you ever played video games with him? Sometimes, I would sit down with one of my nephews to play a game. After playing a while, when I would suggest that we go and shoot some hoops or go bowling, they were much more receptive to the idea than when I hadn't joined them at all. One thing that definitely didn't work: Suggesting to them that they were playing too many video games. : )
You're doing a great job looking out for him. Don't give up! Hugs.