Thursday Nov 10th

History Quiz tonight ...and exam next thurs...ugh.  It has been a long week since I last wrote anything.  After yesterday's anxiety attack and the issues with my heart I got spooked enough to make a Doctor appointment.  Just to make sure I keep feeling like i'm on that roller coaster though...true to form. ....HE was super supportive in the morning when my heart was bothering me and I thought I would pass out.  Held my hand, joked that if I did pass out he would catch me. ...Of course he's sober in the morning.  He told me not to worry about anything and that he would have dinner ready when I got home from class last night....which he did...of course he was so drunk he almost couldn't finish eating before he was out.  Who's going to catch me then?  Oh yeah , no one.  I still love him ...but I am beginning to believe that is not enough and that the stress of his alcoholism is not good for my health.  He has been the main focus of my life for nearly a decade...it is hard to imagine life apart.