Thurs August 4 2011

It's back again.  I know I shouldn't be surprised...after all I have had a good couple of weeks right?  I felt ok when I first got up but by the time it was time to get ready for work it hit me like a ton of bricks.
nausea, chills, waves of panic...the whole ball of wax.  I start running down the mental list.
Do I know of anyone who has been sick?
Have I washed my hands after every person's computer I touched?
Did I wash my hands when I left class?
Was the milk out of date?
Am I positive that ground turkey was not from the contaminated area?
Stupid, I know.  Usually once I get the chill part then I know it's just anxiety and I can eventually talk myself out of it.  This morning was bad though...still is truth be told.  I took an extra dose of buspar already.  Just keep busy at work for now and hope if I forget about it for a while it will fade.   This is the lovely life I lead...no wonder I am so excited to jump out of bed every morning. ugh.  My boyfriend says I do it to myself...I hear there's bad turkey meat on the news...we have turkey...i'm suddenly sick....maybe or maybe I am just recognizing what my triggers are?  chicken or the egg I guess.