Thurs Aug 18th..really?
How did August get to be halfway over already? Time goes by so quickly...and yet not quickly enough.
OK...just going to keep repeating to myself ...not gonna cry today... maybe I can convince myself?
It doesn't matter. I won't cry. I will just turn it inside as I always do. People don't really want to know anyway. When they ask you how your day is...most people only want to know if the answer is good.
What am I doing? Why am I so lost in this life? Who cares anyway?
He's been so sweet to me at home...super jazzed about this weekend. I don't even try getting my hopes up for anything. it usually just gets you stomped on some more. I thought that I had learned that lesson....Apparently not cause u let someone in even a little, dare hope even a little and someone or something will be there to knock you DOWN.
I may still be getting sucked in by the sea monster....but each time it happens I care a little less. Will I leave? Probably not, and go where? Try to support myself completely and put us both under more financial strain? But am I really that cold? I know he loves me in his own way. I have to be the most pathetic person on the planet.
Of course, just cause I expect it to be the usual drunken fare it will probably be the opposite...just cause I am dreading it so much.
You really do and can have whatever you settle for.
OK...just going to keep repeating to myself ...not gonna cry today... maybe I can convince myself?
It doesn't matter. I won't cry. I will just turn it inside as I always do. People don't really want to know anyway. When they ask you how your day is...most people only want to know if the answer is good.
What am I doing? Why am I so lost in this life? Who cares anyway?
He's been so sweet to me at home...super jazzed about this weekend. I don't even try getting my hopes up for anything. it usually just gets you stomped on some more. I thought that I had learned that lesson....Apparently not cause u let someone in even a little, dare hope even a little and someone or something will be there to knock you DOWN.
I may still be getting sucked in by the sea monster....but each time it happens I care a little less. Will I leave? Probably not, and go where? Try to support myself completely and put us both under more financial strain? But am I really that cold? I know he loves me in his own way. I have to be the most pathetic person on the planet.
Of course, just cause I expect it to be the usual drunken fare it will probably be the opposite...just cause I am dreading it so much.
You really do and can have whatever you settle for.
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