"Those people"
I've mentioned many times that I changed career paths after Randy Lee passed away. I loved working with children, making a difference especially when they were misunderstood and being part of that change. I tried to go back to it after Randy Lee passed away. I just didn't "feel" it and it's a job you need to love in order to do correctly. Maybe it was just too soon - but I know without a doubt I was guided to the decision to change.
I now work in Mental Health. I manage a Residential Program where we are on site residential rehab for people with serious mental health concerns and/or dual diagnosis of addictions. Almost everyone in my program (18 people) have the dual diagnosis.
I've been asked many times "how can you do that work?", "why do you help 'those' people?" THOSE PEOPLE ... really? For me, it's what I'm supposed to be doing. Even on those stressful days where I think going to retail would be so much easier I know in my heart that I was led to this job, I was meant to be here and having someone come back to just say "you changed my life" ... well, then it's worth it.
My personal belief is that we all are dealing with something. We all have issues we're trying to overcome & move beyond. We're all valuable ... we're all worth someone reaching out to help us ... we all matter. Helping a person who has a mental health issue or addiction problem is "paying it forward" for me. It's a way I can make a difference for someone where my son didn't have the opportunity. Never diagnosed, self awareness and mom's insight there is no doubt in my mind that Randy Lee was BiPolar. Classic, self medicating and honest enough to tell his therapist exactly how he felt but sadly it fell on deaf ears.
What I will never understand is why society feels it can label people and decide if they are valuable, that they matter. I mean really? Who gave anyone the permission to do that? Who here can say 100% without a shadow of doubt that they don't have a single issue? I can't.
God ... Randy Lee ... whomever it was that moved me to this path knew what they were doing. It's therapeutic for me. The energy I put into this, the effort I give, the support I offer, the hand to hold to pull themselves into a better life .... I do in memory of my son. I do this because there wasn't someone there to do it for him. I do this because it's what's right ... we're supposed to love one another, help one another, guide one another. This is my "pay it forward".
The mentality of society ... at least some uninformed, uneducated people that those with mental health or addiction problems should be referred to as "THOSE PEOPLE" makes my blood boil! If people would be kind not accusing it would be a nicer place. Sadly my state decided that having mental health hospitals for those in need was a waste of money. Surely they would all find a place to go. Well, they did - on the streets. Hot, cold, freezing rain, wind, blazing sun ... they're on the streets. Educated, intelligent people struggling with mental health issues that consume their life. They turn to drugs to self medicate. My son said it and I've heard it so many times since - "The drugs/alcohol make me feel normal - it's the only time I feel normal". LISTEN TO THAT!!!
I challenge everyone reading this to do ONE thing for a person in need. ONE small gesture that makes a difference to them. Buy them a cup of hot coffee, buy them a meal, give them a coat you no longer wear, work at a soup kitchen, take an elderly person who doesn't have support to the market. There are endless things you can do. If you spend 1 hour of your day doing something for another it's 4% ... FOUR PERCENT ... of you day.... of your life. Take a moment and just think how things could have gone a different route for you. If you had made 1 choice differently where would you be? Would you be the one in need of a warm coat?
I work with the poorest of the poor in our county. People living on less than $200 a month, people living on Social Security of $733 a month - and these people are some of the most caring, giving, generous people I've ever met. They know what it feels like to go without so when they see someone in need, they help. There's a lady in our community who didn't have a coat back in November. She was wearing a hoodie in the cold weather.So a group of the people in our program, people who live on about $30 a week pooled their money and bought her a winter coat. When was the last time you did something like that? Compassion is alive and well - you just see in where you don't expect to see it.
This "rant" or message follows a bad situation from work this week. People, professionals in the community that are paid to watch over, protect and be there for all of us made nasty, derogatory remarks that were not only hurtful but not true. They aimed their remarks at a young man who is in need of help. Who needs long term help not jail. He's ill. He doesn't know what he's doing or saying. So instead of helping they want him to move from where he is, with no place to go knowing he will end up living on the streets all because they didn't want to take the time to put forth the effort needed to get him the help he wanted. When people judge others without the full image, all information, they're making a grave mistake. I've been on the other end of that. When my son died a local radio personality who has declared himself "AM MAYOR" reported that Randy Lee was found dead with a needle still in his arm. He commented that it was "one less drugie to worry about". My anger was still high and I called him - I let him know I thought he needed to do a retracting seeing how we didn't have the autopsy report back, there are police photos and there wasn't' a needle in sight. That it was impossible for him to know something that his parents didn't yet know. I offered once those results were back that I would sit down w/ him, do an interview, help lead a action team to help address the drug problem in our community. He refused, even when the autopsy reveled it was not drugs - he didn't say a word. I never wished it on him, I wouldn't on any person but a short 7 months later it was his son using. His son almost dying. I prayed for both of them.
Pay it Forward - you have the ability don't let it go to waste. You honestly don't realize how such a small gesture makes to a person who are in need. I do it every day in honor of my son ~ Randy Lee led me to this new life ..... I do it to honor him.
I now work in Mental Health. I manage a Residential Program where we are on site residential rehab for people with serious mental health concerns and/or dual diagnosis of addictions. Almost everyone in my program (18 people) have the dual diagnosis.
I've been asked many times "how can you do that work?", "why do you help 'those' people?" THOSE PEOPLE ... really? For me, it's what I'm supposed to be doing. Even on those stressful days where I think going to retail would be so much easier I know in my heart that I was led to this job, I was meant to be here and having someone come back to just say "you changed my life" ... well, then it's worth it.
My personal belief is that we all are dealing with something. We all have issues we're trying to overcome & move beyond. We're all valuable ... we're all worth someone reaching out to help us ... we all matter. Helping a person who has a mental health issue or addiction problem is "paying it forward" for me. It's a way I can make a difference for someone where my son didn't have the opportunity. Never diagnosed, self awareness and mom's insight there is no doubt in my mind that Randy Lee was BiPolar. Classic, self medicating and honest enough to tell his therapist exactly how he felt but sadly it fell on deaf ears.
What I will never understand is why society feels it can label people and decide if they are valuable, that they matter. I mean really? Who gave anyone the permission to do that? Who here can say 100% without a shadow of doubt that they don't have a single issue? I can't.
God ... Randy Lee ... whomever it was that moved me to this path knew what they were doing. It's therapeutic for me. The energy I put into this, the effort I give, the support I offer, the hand to hold to pull themselves into a better life .... I do in memory of my son. I do this because there wasn't someone there to do it for him. I do this because it's what's right ... we're supposed to love one another, help one another, guide one another. This is my "pay it forward".
The mentality of society ... at least some uninformed, uneducated people that those with mental health or addiction problems should be referred to as "THOSE PEOPLE" makes my blood boil! If people would be kind not accusing it would be a nicer place. Sadly my state decided that having mental health hospitals for those in need was a waste of money. Surely they would all find a place to go. Well, they did - on the streets. Hot, cold, freezing rain, wind, blazing sun ... they're on the streets. Educated, intelligent people struggling with mental health issues that consume their life. They turn to drugs to self medicate. My son said it and I've heard it so many times since - "The drugs/alcohol make me feel normal - it's the only time I feel normal". LISTEN TO THAT!!!
I challenge everyone reading this to do ONE thing for a person in need. ONE small gesture that makes a difference to them. Buy them a cup of hot coffee, buy them a meal, give them a coat you no longer wear, work at a soup kitchen, take an elderly person who doesn't have support to the market. There are endless things you can do. If you spend 1 hour of your day doing something for another it's 4% ... FOUR PERCENT ... of you day.... of your life. Take a moment and just think how things could have gone a different route for you. If you had made 1 choice differently where would you be? Would you be the one in need of a warm coat?
I work with the poorest of the poor in our county. People living on less than $200 a month, people living on Social Security of $733 a month - and these people are some of the most caring, giving, generous people I've ever met. They know what it feels like to go without so when they see someone in need, they help. There's a lady in our community who didn't have a coat back in November. She was wearing a hoodie in the cold weather.So a group of the people in our program, people who live on about $30 a week pooled their money and bought her a winter coat. When was the last time you did something like that? Compassion is alive and well - you just see in where you don't expect to see it.
This "rant" or message follows a bad situation from work this week. People, professionals in the community that are paid to watch over, protect and be there for all of us made nasty, derogatory remarks that were not only hurtful but not true. They aimed their remarks at a young man who is in need of help. Who needs long term help not jail. He's ill. He doesn't know what he's doing or saying. So instead of helping they want him to move from where he is, with no place to go knowing he will end up living on the streets all because they didn't want to take the time to put forth the effort needed to get him the help he wanted. When people judge others without the full image, all information, they're making a grave mistake. I've been on the other end of that. When my son died a local radio personality who has declared himself "AM MAYOR" reported that Randy Lee was found dead with a needle still in his arm. He commented that it was "one less drugie to worry about". My anger was still high and I called him - I let him know I thought he needed to do a retracting seeing how we didn't have the autopsy report back, there are police photos and there wasn't' a needle in sight. That it was impossible for him to know something that his parents didn't yet know. I offered once those results were back that I would sit down w/ him, do an interview, help lead a action team to help address the drug problem in our community. He refused, even when the autopsy reveled it was not drugs - he didn't say a word. I never wished it on him, I wouldn't on any person but a short 7 months later it was his son using. His son almost dying. I prayed for both of them.
Pay it Forward - you have the ability don't let it go to waste. You honestly don't realize how such a small gesture makes to a person who are in need. I do it every day in honor of my son ~ Randy Lee led me to this new life ..... I do it to honor him.
Replies
There are always ways in which we can offer help and pay it forward. The gift is for the giver as I believe we receive triple fold when we give and move out of ourselves for that moment to lend a hand, a kind word, a heart with ears...
Grateful that you are living you life in honor of Randy Lee as you are his memory keeper. Thanks to one of our moms who said that is what she is for her son, Christopher.
Offering a hug here is paying it forward, making a comment on someone\'s journal, saying a prayer... All of these can be done in your jammies from your home and cost nothing but are priceless for both the giver and receiver. The only thing that stops us is \"us\" and our thoughts that we what we can offer really wouldn\'t make a difference and then we \"freeze\" and do nothing. Everything we think and do makes a difference.
I\'m with you and am sure that Randy Lee is beyond proud of his mom.
Loving care and keep showing up and doing the wonderful work that you are as I know it is healing and filling you. That IS the magic of giving...
XO Joanie
Your words hold so much truth and compassion! You inspire me. Thank you for writing this. The people around you are fortunate to have you in their lives.