Therapy prep

I booked a couple counselling sessions with my old counsellor (from after my mom died). In preparation, I'm trying to really pay attention to my self talk as well as my anxiety/stress triggers. I feel guilty and angry when I think about everyone around me who was saddened by my miscarriage. I tell myself that I knew better than to share the news before 12 weeks. I knew better than to buy any baby supplies before 12 weeks. I knew better, yet just as we hit 10 weeks we told the younger family members (niece/nephew) and broke their hearts. 

I've been feeling anxiety and I hadn't been able to figure out exactly what was triggering it... Until earlier today. I felt the chest pain, the tightness, the unease. I scanned my brain, what happened? Sex. I thought of sex with my husband. 

I'm trying to use therapy on myself in the mean time, in a year I'll be certified to support other people, why not try on myself. It's difficult. I tell myself all the things I need to hear, but I think I need to give them bad feelings and thoughts an actual voice. I need to let them out, acknowledge their truth, then let them go. 

Therapy on Monday - I'll make sure to post about it. I can't remember a single session from before... I'd rather not black out all of this therapy as well. At least if I do, I'd like to be able to reference back to what we discussed...