The memories are to strong
My husband and I were together for almost 8 years. Married for almost 5. We have 3 children. 6 months ago I left. I took our 3 children and moved in with my parents. A week ago my children and I moved back into our house that we shared with my husband. I thought I was ready for that step but tonight I'm not so sure. I having a hard time looking at anything without a memory coming back to me. Yes we had good times in the marriage but they are hard to find. After I left I started having panic attacks. I went to counseling were I found it that most of my marriage was abusive according to this therapist. Sometimes I still don't see it. It was just want I was used to.but like I said tonighthat is a bad night. I know I need to talk about things. I have my close friends that know the bad that happened but they all hate him. I don't want to burden them. I don't know. I just feel lost.
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It is very hard when you remember all the good times. The plans you made and how excited you were just to be in their presence. I was only happy when she allowed me to be. My happiness became dependant on her. There were the really good times but they were few and far between. I lost myself. My friends and family made me feel better. I don't feel lost anymore but I have arrived at a broken bridge that I need to repair before I can move on.