the dread of on call

Well I am on call this weekend, and it will be what it will be, though I wish it to be very quiet, so I can get my house work done, and relax and enjoy the weekend.  Is that my luck however? I do not know.  Generally being on call makes me almost so depressed that I anticipate suicide at times, not doing it this time, not today anyway, but just knowing that I have no control over my own life makes me feel horrible.  At the other agency I worked for I pulled 36 hours straight.  then had to work again that sunday doing stupid left over crapp that could have been taken care of by the worker themself.  I was very unhappy, but we'll just say I got my revenge, and got it very well. and smiled in her face during.  There are those who say getting revenge doesn't make you feel any better, but it depends on how deep the pain is, for deep pain, it probably doesn't help you feel better, but for stupid petty shit that could be avoided if there were a good work ethic and lack of laziness and thinking one is entitled to special treatment, yeah, I gotta say getting my revenge felt pretty damned good.