The brain zaps are going to kill me

So I've been off Effexor for about 5 days now.  The electrocuting brain shocks in my head are just awful.  I'm sick of it.  I don't know how long its going to take before it stops.  I've read that for some people it'll stop after a week and for some people it can take months or even a year.  I swear I will blow up the manufacturer if I'm having shocks after a year.  I filed a complaint with the FDA about this drug.  Don't know what good it'll do.  I'm also having very VIVID dreams.  It's exhausting to sleep.  Once I'm through getting off this AD, I'm contemplating getting off nortryptiline too.  I just don't think these AD's are doing me any good.

I was really unhappy with the way MHMR started using a "skype" form of doctor appointment with the new psychiatrist at the clinic.  It kept cutting out.  It was very impersonal.  She had a horrible thick accent.  I could understand about half of what she said.  Not a good way to build any kind of patient doctor relationship.  On top of that, she's only available two Fridays every month.  Fuck that.  Went online and found me a doctor that would take Medicare in the Webster area.  I have an appointment for June.  I read patient reviews on him and other than office wait time, the reviews were excellent.  I'll see how it goes and if it's good I'll tell MHMR to kiss my fat butt good bye.

I finally got the bookcases off the front porch. They only sat there for like 2 and a half weeks, lol.  I had to open the boxes and carry the individual pieces in cuz they were to heavy to lift.  I got all excited when I opened one of the boxes cuz I found a tree frog.  Yay!!!  I have like zero tree frogs here.  Back in Pearland I had billions and they were so noisy at night.  I caught this little fella and released him in my front bushes.  I hope he doesn't get lonely.

Went out to eat dinner with Victor yesterday evening and when we got back to his house I walked around the property a bit.  Made me so sad.  I really miss the place.  I planted every tree and bush and it's all so big now.  It's so peaceful and quiet out there.  Not like the traffic noise I have here.  The pond is full of water and the lilly pads/flowers are pretty.  I wish I could win the lotto and buy it back from him. Oh well.  I've got to let go of it.  The martins were just coming into the martin houses.  They were diving in and out.  Heavy sigh.  My little piece of heaven is gone.  I'm going to cry my eyes out when he sells the place next year.