the aftermath

feel pretty lost right now.  I just got done with my final.  My instructor said he was tempted to fail me just so he could have me in his class again.  so sweet. 
then it's time to race home....my animals are waiting for me and their dinner is late.  that was the longest final ever...three hours!! ok..we watched a movie for half of it but still...rather be home with Remi and the kitties.  THEY love me...for sure.
 
at least he agreed he would still watch them so I can go see my mom now that class is over.  He hasn't texted me all that much.  I'm sure he knows how upset I am.
He sent me some romantic e-card that said no matter what he said or did he wanted me to know he loved me.  and that helps me how? 
It just reminds me that everything I have put into the past ten years has been for nothing.  No matter that he does love me...he will always love the drink more.
I am probably going to end up with an A or a very high B in a class that most people don't pass the first time around and all I want to do it cry.