The 14 Traits of Me...

The "laundry list" is being used a lot to discribe the side effects of ACOAs and I ahven't not fully explored this... I think I should, as homework in my healing, really take the time to go through these traits individually and desipher, understand and discribe each step and what it makes me think... I am not sure if this journal is an appropriate spot for this, but it's really the only place I would feel held accountable to actually do it!

So, the "laundry list" is as posted below I think:

The Laundry List

1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.

2.We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.

3.We are frightened by angry people and any personal critcism.

4.We either became alcoholics, we married them or both,or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

5.We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by the weakness in our love and friendship relationships

6.We have a overdeveloped since of responsibility.of responsibility,and its easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us to not look too closely at our own faults, etc.

7. We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

8. We became addicted to excitement. 

9. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."

10We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial),

11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self- esteem.

12We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings,which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.

13. Alcoholism is a family disease; we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink. 

14. Para- alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

My next 14 entries will focus on each step individually and how it pertains to me and how I can heal myself! 

HEere goes...