That "Little Gambling Voice"
I hate that "little gambling voice". The voice in your head that tries to convince you that you are not a compulsive gambler. Last night I could not sleep. I started going through gambling withdrawals last night. The withdrawals are so bad I got angry with my 9 year old daughter (for merely forgetting to do an assignment). Also my 17 year old son was trying to be affectionate with me (which he never wants to) and I just kept pushing him away. I have very little patience right now. I didn't mean to lose control but I feel like I am not myself right now. And that "little gambling voice" just keeps talking in my head. It is very hard to concentrate here at work. It is only DAY 3 and I feel horrible. I wish that "little gambling voice" would get out of my head before payday next week. UGG hating life today :(
Replies
well, if you think planning your next gamble isn\'t the addiction talking, read your last post, your initial post. Why does a full tank of gas make me so happy? HOLD ON, its good to see it for what it is. I do hope you go home and give your kids a hug, and love on them, its not only good for them, its healing for you. hang in there.
I remember feeling very edgy as being one of my main withdrawal symptoms. I\'d also feel completely scatter brained and like I couldn\'t sit still. It\'s interesting how you call it the \"little\" gambling voice. There is a poem that I wrote as the latest entry in my journal that I called \"the tiny voice versus the urge\". I saw the \"little\" voice as my own and that urge voice was the boss of me. I\'m so glad I don\'t feel that way any more.
One of the reason I like this journal is that I can go back if even one day ago to remind myself what a particular day felt like. I went back and read the previous post. I will definitely go home and hug the kids. I feel guilty for my actions yesterday. When I feel \"edgy\" I will learn to take a time out. I don\'t want to take out my anxiety on anyone let alone my innocent children. I am going to take a walk at lunch time to clear my head. Hopefully some Vitamin D and exercise will help me. Thank you for your responses. Thank you for not judging me. Thank you for being my friends. xoxoxo Chargergirl