talking is the best

After speaking to friends and having them let me vent the way I want, no sugar coating and no being careful about what I say. I have finaly come to terms with what I really wanted from my ex and what he wanted. I just didnt want to be lonely so I stuck it out with him and all the emotional abuse for months, he on the other hand, only wanted someone to give him an ego boost after what his ex girlfriend did by cheating on him constantly and using him for a place to stay.

I now realize we never really loved each other like we claimed. Instead we both had selfish wants along with not being ready for a relationship. I did learn to care about him, maybe even more than a friend but after seeing how he jumped into the relationship headfirst and was talking about marriage after a few months it worried me.

And when I told him i wanted to take it slower he got angry and lashed out with his usual, " you just dont want to put the effort into this relationship after everything I've done for us!" bit. I'm glad I realize now that he was always projecting how he felt towards his ex girlfriends and now I can just forget about him, the whole thing and I can smile knowing unlike him, I at least cared and I'm not the one who gave up.