Surprise surprise haha!

So, the Israeli guy that I was really, really into........turns out he got back with his ex, who, just from the two times I met him, could tell that he really loved, just by passing comments he dropped about her.  So in a matter of 12 hours, my two hot, sober lovers......have disappeared from my life.  HAHA!  100 to 0 in about 60 seconds.  But, you know what is crazy?  I really don't feel upset *AT ALL*.  I actually feel very happy.  I can see in a way that meeting both of them inspired me to get on a sober track and now that I'm going into my 6th week sober, I have made sobreity my habit.  They were the catalysts, they made me feel strong and inspired when I was dealing with cravings.....and because there were two of them, it's kind of like my emotions are cancelled out.  And neither of them I had gotten too deep with, so my feelings aren't really hurt.  It's a strange thing, but it makes sense that they were there to aid me in my journey of sobreity.  It also freed me from forcing myself to be polyamorous.  I'm still open to polyamory for the sake of my sanity, but I woudl really like to meet a guy that is into monogamy.  obviously the israeli guy *is* actually into monogamy.........and sheesh, it would be cool if he broke up with his chick and called me in a month or two and then *we* could be in love.  HAHAHA!  but, nah, not betting on it and all in all i hope they work out.  i don't wish ill on him and his love at all.  in fact, i probably need someone more artistic and creative to be my partner.  i'm going to buy a ukele soon, that will be my lover!  

Went to a get together last night for some digital nomads.  Didn't drink!  It was ok, but online business people are just not *my* people, although they are def. cool and I harbor no resentment.  My good friend is now pulling in 10s of thousands of dollars a month.  She is my age.  She is a freakin boss, I watched her in a year's time manifest the reality she wanted.  She's amazing.  8,000 to 10,000 dollars she is getting from clients to do 3 months of coaching.  But you know what?  I gotta stay in my own lane.  I really am not jealous, I am just going to keep working to be my best self so I can make money, and in the end be in the position to help causes and people I believe in.  Money would be cool to have so I can travel, but I also want money so I can give it to things I believe in.  

Gotta teach a class today in a little bit, 2 hours of conversation to this Thai lady who works as a medical product salesperson.  She is def. an alpha female.  I'm not sure if I like her.  haha, but it's all good.

All is well, sobreity feels fucking great.  So funny that once I get to this length of time being sober the cravings really do dissipate and it becomes a habit.  Out of pot too, so this should help my motivation!  Going to clean and sew today and go to some temples.  I don't teach later either so today will be lovely.  

yay for life.