Suicide Letter
My therapist made me sign a "suicide letter" today. Not sure what to call it, but it says that I won't hurt myself without telling her and that she will turn me in if I do. I had a lot of trepidation in signing. I told her in the next six months or so she would have to execute this contract. It is a fight to keep the mania and the depression at bay. When I get into mania, I often think about suicide and make plans. The last time I was in mania I wound up in the hospital for ten days. I know that I am right. There is only so long I can go without mania. Eventually, I will end up giving in to the emotions. She is too optimistic.
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Hey Spencer, just want to throw a hug at ya. Mania can feel good at the time or it can feel really bad. I was able before to feel it creeping up and then I would slow down. Coming off Clonapin one day made me terribly manic. I cleaned ALL day even with my heart rate was way to up. I didn’t even notice it. Now that I’m coming off Clonapin for good I’m hoping my BP will go up.
I think about how you are doing everyday. I hope your send me a note here or wherever. I’m having a lot of trepidation about well about every minute of everyday at the moment. I see the cardiologist tomorrow and I’m hoping he will say I need a pacemaker. Life right now is minute to minute for me.
Ginny
Peace Spencer
S. I signed one decades ago, but my therapist died 6 months later. Bad deal for me. If you don't see the early signals of the mania, your wife likely does. I would talk with her about whether she does, and could give you a heads up before it gets to full force. I am part of a small team of friends that let's a mutual friend know when we see the signals so she can reach out to her Pdoc before it goes full throttle. She loves how creative she is in the early stage, but has not stopped it in time too many times. Just a share from my experience. Hugs.
Good going in signing the suicide letter! Better going in being able to know what the early warning signs of mania and depression are.
Thor I have a question, have you tried all medications to see if it helps your bipolar? Do you just do ECT treatment? Just curious it took me. A long time to find the right combination, but I find myself. Forgetful sometimes
The medication helps but as you know, it can spin you out of control like it didn't me recently. It's like I go up. And then back to stable so strange.
LongRangersFried - I have tried literally a dozen different meds and different combos of those same drugs. I have been somewhat stable in the type and amounts of drugs for about 90 days which is the longest yet. I work real hard with my TDoc and I think the PDoc knows that I interact with my her so much. So yep. I have tried a lot of different medicines.