Still don't wanna, but let's do this!

At the end of work, I was so full of energy. My manager was 100% supportive in the face of a shitty person and helped me protect future employees who might have to deal with him. I finally was able to solve something that's been hovering for a week or two. My favorite direct coworker and I had one of our usual "therapy" sessions where we hover by our cars after work and talk. Sometimes we bitch about clients or our employers. Sometimes we talk about her kids or my siblings or just life in general. Yesterday she talked me off the metaphorical ledge; she's a great mentor. 

Then I came home ate a burger, fries, and a milkshake. Now I'm sleepy and fighting off some depression. But three days is enough stalling and I am determined to make a video today. I think once I get started, it'll be okay. It helps, a lot, that I don't have yesterday's headache. It felt like someone was slowly pushing a nail through my temple and into my eye socket. I made myself stay up until 9:30 to stay on schedule and I had every intention of avoiding pain killers. But I just couldn't sleep so I took a dose of Tylenol PM and thank the gods for it. I dropped right off and, while I woke up lying diagonally across the bed, I still slept through the night. I woke up refreshed and happy. I've felt a headache on the edges on and off all day but it's never really come on full force, so it's good. 

I have also sucessfully planned my food for the week and made the food list for the week! I'm gonna marinade some fish for the first time! My step-mother was again SUPER suportive and reminded me I need to STOP taking my mother's opinion into consideration when it comes to weight loss or health. It has to be for me or it won't work. And she and I are too different. Different body types, different life experiences, different goals. We'll never get from point A to point B the same way. Our points are usually different too, come to think of it. Of course I've never been able to beat a food addiction and maintain weight loss when I've been following my mother's path of taking an already healthy body to the next level. Different starting point, different goals. 

Why the fuck did it take me 23 years to figure that out?