Some days I'm just tired of myself
Some times like today when I feel like crap and the anxiety is there I am just so tired of being me. There is nothing overly stressful going on. Not much has changed in the last couple of days so why do I have to get hit with an anxiety attack out of the blue? I have been thinking a lot the last few weeks about the "is anxiety mental/emotional or just a physical chemical imbalance in your body?" My counselor would tell you that it's a physical response to something in your subconscious or crap like that where my psychiatrist that writes my anxiety prescriptions says it's all a chemical imbalance. which is it? My MD says it's both. Great..really helpful. oh and my need to put it in a category is what makes me sick in the first place. great.
When I first got sick I used to thing of myself as the strong confident girl until things all fell apart. Recently in talking with my counselor I remembered that when I was a child living in Ohio, I used to get upset when we would go on trips out of town. we always referred to it as my "nervous stomach". I guess at some point I grew out of it and forgot about it. All the years living in Arizona I never remembered or had any symptoms. It makes me wonder if living in a state where the sun shines over 300 days a year had something to do with my not having anxiety. Was it just a timing thing that when I moved to California and got so sick with the flu that it brought it out again? Did it have anything to do with the gloomy foggy ca winter? They say sunshine helps your body produce vitamins. There is an actual name for the syndrome mostly for people who live in the midwest where I grew up. Yeah, don't think the first winter I got sick here that I didn't make my BF run around changing all the lightbulbs to full sunshine bulbs. lol. He should have known then I was a freak!
When I first got sick I used to thing of myself as the strong confident girl until things all fell apart. Recently in talking with my counselor I remembered that when I was a child living in Ohio, I used to get upset when we would go on trips out of town. we always referred to it as my "nervous stomach". I guess at some point I grew out of it and forgot about it. All the years living in Arizona I never remembered or had any symptoms. It makes me wonder if living in a state where the sun shines over 300 days a year had something to do with my not having anxiety. Was it just a timing thing that when I moved to California and got so sick with the flu that it brought it out again? Did it have anything to do with the gloomy foggy ca winter? They say sunshine helps your body produce vitamins. There is an actual name for the syndrome mostly for people who live in the midwest where I grew up. Yeah, don't think the first winter I got sick here that I didn't make my BF run around changing all the lightbulbs to full sunshine bulbs. lol. He should have known then I was a freak!
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