SICK of being SICK

It has been 24 days since I had a smoke.  So sick and angry with myself for being in the cycle again, even if it's not super strong panic.  It's been enough days that I should no longer be feeling nauseated from nicotene withdrawal.  Steve has a bad cold but he stayed in the bay last night so I haven't even been around him.  Once again, I am having waves of nausea mixed with hunger...which tells me it is just anxiety and nothing more.  Stupid.  Last night, as I laid down to go to sleep, my stomach was being weird..which triggered waves of anxiety. I started to wonder if the shrimp I had eaten may have been bad. STUPID. I just kept my eyes closed and ignored it and finally fell asleep. 

Although I am better at handling this, it still makes me angry with myself.  How can I logically realize that I am doing it to myself and that I am fucking fine, and yet still continue to suffer the symptoms. Damn this war! 

Even now that I am at work, I continue to feel shaky and sick.  Super tired already and this is my late night. I hate that my very last class has to be a night class.  ..FML