Shitty ass mother fucking weekend.
Shitty. That's basically all I can say about this weekend. My hyper manic mood has gone down the toilet and now i am in a deep depressive state. I just want to die. I don't give a flying fuck about anything. I am filled with tears but am trying to hold them in, which just makes me more emotionally full. That on top of the extra supplements that have been added, i'm just in pain. Physical and emotional. I odn't want to be here today. I just want to curl up in a ball, sit in a corner, and cry all day. I don't want to have anything to do with anyone or anything. I hate this shit. It fucking sucks ass.
I have completed all meals, despite the pain. I want to runaway from myself. I want to hide. I want to disappear.
I'm not giving up...I just want to disappear.
I wrote a lot more last night on my home computer which I can post later.
Me
I have completed all meals, despite the pain. I want to runaway from myself. I want to hide. I want to disappear.
I'm not giving up...I just want to disappear.
I wrote a lot more last night on my home computer which I can post later.
Me
Replies
i am so sorry you are in such a bad state. do you have any idea what brought this on? in php, are you still in the hospital, sorry in dont understand. maybe this switch, since it happened friday, is part of the cause of your anger, depression and wantying to isolate. could you try and utilze some of the coping methods learned IP? i hope today will find you in a better frame of mind. many hugs and support.
in PHP I am in a 12hr program at the hospital. So basically I get here at 7am and leave at 7pm. Mainly I just get to go home at night...which is awesome. But also means I wake up at 5:30 lol
I think you had the same feelings last time you got home. Please please address these with your team. Obviously you are emotionally overwhelmed. I think it is so awesome that even though you want to disappear you are not giving up. Very important, my dear friend. Now is the hardest time and then when you are all at your own it\'s even harder. But you have to do it anyway. Don\'t eat those feelings up. Let people around you know, your team, if possible Carlos but I know that is a tough one. I got your letter today, we came back home. Awesome surprise. Hang in there fellow superwoman.
I think a lot of my moods this past weekend came from various different areas. Last night I told my parents how they made me feel Friday night and it was very helpful for my father to hear and me to say. obviously my mother didnt say a word haha