shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck
Title explains it all. Fuck this life. I know I always say it's not worth it, but damn fucking shit it sure as fucking hell feels like it today.
Today has been horrible. I don't know what to do with myself. I was proud of myself this morning because things were going well I felt confident about things. I also told myself not to contact Joanna because I did not need to. Now I feel terrible because I did but I don't know what to. I wish she could help or calm me down but I know she can't. Maybe people are right and I rely on hero much- I don't know what else to do though, especially when I can't rely on others like today.
Everything has gone wrong today, everything. I did horrible on my exams (okay well my final grade in the class was a 'B'...I should of done much better and I'm kicking myself in the ass for not studying...ugh I suck) my sister cancelled plans on me because she decided to meet up with someone else, someone else forgot to meet up with me, my mother has yelled at me for multiple things today which were all ridiculous, and more.
I know I should be able to handle this and control myself, but I don't feel like I can. I'm so upset. I can't get myself to move or do anything. I feel like no one cares about me and I have just been forgotten about by everyone. No one responds to anything from me. I am ignored and it hurts so bad.
I can't control my emotions and it's do frustrating. I want to have a session with Joanna so badly but know that is impossible. I never want a week like this to ever occur again. Never. I'm not prepared for this.
Today has been horrible. I don't know what to do with myself. I was proud of myself this morning because things were going well I felt confident about things. I also told myself not to contact Joanna because I did not need to. Now I feel terrible because I did but I don't know what to. I wish she could help or calm me down but I know she can't. Maybe people are right and I rely on hero much- I don't know what else to do though, especially when I can't rely on others like today.
Everything has gone wrong today, everything. I did horrible on my exams (okay well my final grade in the class was a 'B'...I should of done much better and I'm kicking myself in the ass for not studying...ugh I suck) my sister cancelled plans on me because she decided to meet up with someone else, someone else forgot to meet up with me, my mother has yelled at me for multiple things today which were all ridiculous, and more.
I know I should be able to handle this and control myself, but I don't feel like I can. I'm so upset. I can't get myself to move or do anything. I feel like no one cares about me and I have just been forgotten about by everyone. No one responds to anything from me. I am ignored and it hurts so bad.
I can't control my emotions and it's do frustrating. I want to have a session with Joanna so badly but know that is impossible. I never want a week like this to ever occur again. Never. I'm not prepared for this.
Replies
A \"B\" is a good grade. I always want As too, so I know how you feel, but really it\'s not the end of the world.
Your sister and friend: not nice at all
your mom: no comment
I think you need to scream or get a punching bad to let your feelings out. Sounds like they are eating you up.
I agree with Karrin. Steph you always sound so upset and angry. Is there something productive that you can do to not feel this way. I think you are missing out on so much of your life by letting things get to you so much. Yes it sucks not to get an A but a B is really good. I know plenty of people that would kill for a B. Maybe you didn\'t study as much but that is ok you can do that on your next class. Try to think positive and compliment yourself on a job well done for all the good things that you do. ED feeds into the negativity and looks for any reason to wear you down. Don\'t let it happen.
Did you think about writing letters to your sister, mom and friend for the let downs that they have caused you? You don\'t have to give it to them but sometimes just by thinking and verbalizing it (even on paper) it allows you to free yourself from the emotions and not let them eat you up. Does that make sense?
I hope I don\'t sound like a Pollyanna - I just worry about you and want you to be happy. Life is too short to be upset all the time.
i know you dont accept it but a \"b\" is a really great grade, i had to study till the weehours to get by. try and accept it and say you did good. all this anger, frustrations, the feeling that you cant handle anythingand how a good day turns to shit really needs to end for you. it is eating you up. as you say, joanna cant cure these things, you need to find a way. i like the bunching bad idea and also writing what you would love to say about everyone and not mail it, maybe mail it when your ready. that really sucks about your sister and friend, im sorry. karin said it very well about your mother. i hope the day improves, many hugss