Session 18

This session was very emotional for me. I felt extremely raw and had a difficult time concealing my emotions and restricting tears. We discussed the wcb incident that occurred, my own triggering of that experience, the failed attempt at conception, and the experience of being on antibiotics and unable to try again but also unable to consume alcohol.

I couldn't help but notice her attempts to find a silver lining and realized for myself that it's unvalidating. It made processing the emotions associated more difficult because I had to explain why the silver lining didn't apply (ex. Didn't conceive = drinking over holiday - except for antibiotics, and also it's my birthday).

What I did find helpful is her awareness of auto-immune disorders and that she knew what hidradenitis suppurativa is without me saying the name. She was able to be very validating about the discomfort and vulnerability of experiencing it with no real medical solutions available. 

It's pretty clear that I need to do some deep, personal processing of my wcb trauma. If I could see her in person, perhaps EMDR would be beneficial, but virtually it's not realistic. I need the time and space to journal my experiences and deeply process how painful it was and still is. Every day that my back tweaks, my hip hurts, or I have to attend a physical therapy for it, is just a reminder of how badly they injured me. My supervisor was able to accurately identify how badly WCB has traumatized others and it was so validating for her to say that.