Saturday morning

I swear...he knows.  He has this weird radar where I am concerned...always has.  All week we have been on the outs...he's been snappy and I have been in no mood to take it.  He always seems to know when he has pushed me too far.  I know I have said this before.  Now, when I am trying to find a way to talk about what's wrong with us, he senses it coming.  He is sweet and joking and when he does snap about something he tries to laugh it off and make like I really AM crazy.  It's all in my head...he is not snapping...I am just taking it that way.  We went to the gym and he was following me making sure I could adjust the machines ...really?  when no none else is there he never does that.  Is it because there are more men there this morning? Or because we have been at each others' throats all week and now he's trying to act all kind?
we get home and I call him on it when he snaps again.  He laughs again telling me it's only my perception.  I refuse to be dismissed like a fucking lunatic.  I say well...you sure are not speaking to me with love and kindness.   He says while it may be true there isn't love and kindness in his voice....he was not snapping. 
Well you know what? I want love and kindness in my life.  I don't want to be snapped at like a 12 year old for everything I do that is not his way.  I am not saying these things could not be open for discussion..but it doesn't have to be hurtful either.  He's supposed to be my best friend...I don't feel like we are really friends at all.  I rarely share things with him anymore because if he doesn't like it or it isn't his way he cuts me down.  Maybe I'm not getting sucked in again after all.  Maybe I am finally learning to escape his control.  I'm crazy enough all by myself...I don't need any help getting there.
I used the treadmill today instead of the elliptical machine for the first time.  I felt much better overall...took more time to warm up and really got up a good workout and longer...However, when I finally was done and went to step off...
Yeah, Really dizzy...room started to spin and for a moment I thought I might get sick or pass out.  Panic attack?  Motion sickness problem...I have always been prone to motion sickness and I still get sick if I try to read or something in the car.