Sat Sept 11th,2011 NEVER FORGET!!
It seems petty to be writing about my own crap on a day like today but I just have to get it all out.
Last night was awful...he went from zero to slurring in no time. Thought we were going to have a nice lite dinner with the kids...just hamburgers..mac salad, and he bought a fruit tray at the grocery store. I knew when he didn't come in to eat with us he was probably slamming drinks.
Dinner gets done...the kids put the fruit tray back into the fridge.
I go to open the fridge to get the dog food out....the tray falls right at me...I try to grab it but I guess the lid is not on very well either....the whole thing hits the floor..what a mess. I don't yell at the kids although I am irritated..I just ask them to hand me a towel so I can clean it up.
Next thing I know he's storming through the house pissed as hell...I say what's wrong? He's mad at ME cause the fruit tray got wasted...NICE
Just took my book and went into the bedroom to read...He was passed out on the couch by 8:30...then I just had to listen to him moan in his sleep.
Tried to concentrate on reading...fighting the panic...trying to let the hurt and anger go.
Bad dreams again...woke up angry still....I feel like I am going to be sick.
Who do you turn to for comfort when that person who is supposed to be your best friend is not there?
NO ONE...I am truly and always alone
Last night was awful...he went from zero to slurring in no time. Thought we were going to have a nice lite dinner with the kids...just hamburgers..mac salad, and he bought a fruit tray at the grocery store. I knew when he didn't come in to eat with us he was probably slamming drinks.
Dinner gets done...the kids put the fruit tray back into the fridge.
I go to open the fridge to get the dog food out....the tray falls right at me...I try to grab it but I guess the lid is not on very well either....the whole thing hits the floor..what a mess. I don't yell at the kids although I am irritated..I just ask them to hand me a towel so I can clean it up.
Next thing I know he's storming through the house pissed as hell...I say what's wrong? He's mad at ME cause the fruit tray got wasted...NICE
Just took my book and went into the bedroom to read...He was passed out on the couch by 8:30...then I just had to listen to him moan in his sleep.
Tried to concentrate on reading...fighting the panic...trying to let the hurt and anger go.
Bad dreams again...woke up angry still....I feel like I am going to be sick.
Who do you turn to for comfort when that person who is supposed to be your best friend is not there?
NO ONE...I am truly and always alone
Replies