Sat sept 10th 2011

So for once instead of sitting on my ass saying I need to get some exercise...I actually got up and took the dog for a couple of laps around the park...ok I only walked instead of running but it's a start.  I need to go earlier...already too many people there.  At least I know it's a mile around so I have an idea of how far I have gone. 
No anxiety this morning..or during the night really but still I did not sleep well.  Always...dreaming that leaves me with feelings of sadness..but I cannot remember them at all after I wake.
ok...maybe that's not entirely true.  I start thinking about what to do with my day and I start to have that little knot of panic in my chest.  I can't ever relax anymore.  Too much to say right now and not enough order in my head to put it all down...
Lonely...that is always the word of the day isn't it.