Sat July 2nd

Day two of the 4 day weekend.  We are heading up to the mountains today.  Going up to see our friends cabin...the guys are going fishing and see how bad the damage is from the winter.  The weight of the snow on the roof snapped one of the beams in the living room.  I woke feeling sick to my stomach.  Every time we are going to go somewhere anymore I feel sick.  I get so tired of myself...always with the anxiety. It is so depressing.  I was really shaky feeling yesterday morning as well.  I ended up taking my mom to get us both a pedicure.  Felt a little better after that.  He's super excited like a little kid...got the coolers all loaded up with drinks and already marinading some chicken since yest.  I feel like I'm going to ruin the party before we have even left. He's all singing this morning as we get ready to leave.  I'm just glad my stomach is settling down.  Will I ever be able to relax again and not worry about having anxiety when I have too much time on my hands? I was looking at photos of Arizona on the facebook page for Arizona Highways magazine.  It was making me very homesick.  I miss the desert.