Rough time

Its now midnight.. I can't sleep, and I feel so completely alone.. this isn't how I pictured my life or the life for my Daughter.. I cry myself to sleep every single night wondering why I allowed a man to treat me this way for so long and still continued to give him the world.. I wish I could afford all my bills on my own Id kick him out right now but instead I can't find a full time job nor can I find anyone I trust to watch her.. not only do I make only $200 a week at my job and of course day care is also $200 a week cost wise so basically id be working to pay for daycare then where would the other money for bills come from.. I just wish I never told him about her and I could have just disappeared.. I am miserable all the time the only thing that makes me happy is Angelica.. I went to the doc thinking this was postpartum and she said "nope not at all you just have a jerk for a Husband".. I know I'm so much stronger then this but its hard when you can't afford bills on your own since you've been with someone since you were 18.. everything is joint and now its like everything is being ripped from my life.. not only that but now he is talking about moving out of state.. I don't want him to take her from me.. and knowing is new heartless attitude he will do just that to hurt me more.. I mean I just wanna slap him for how he treats me.. I want whats best for my daughter and this isn't it..