Rough time
Its now midnight.. I can't sleep, and I feel so completely alone.. this isn't how I pictured my life or the life for my Daughter.. I cry myself to sleep every single night wondering why I allowed a man to treat me this way for so long and still continued to give him the world.. I wish I could afford all my bills on my own Id kick him out right now but instead I can't find a full time job nor can I find anyone I trust to watch her.. not only do I make only $200 a week at my job and of course day care is also $200 a week cost wise so basically id be working to pay for daycare then where would the other money for bills come from.. I just wish I never told him about her and I could have just disappeared.. I am miserable all the time the only thing that makes me happy is Angelica.. I went to the doc thinking this was postpartum and she said "nope not at all you just have a jerk for a Husband".. I know I'm so much stronger then this but its hard when you can't afford bills on your own since you've been with someone since you were 18.. everything is joint and now its like everything is being ripped from my life.. not only that but now he is talking about moving out of state.. I don't want him to take her from me.. and knowing is new heartless attitude he will do just that to hurt me more.. I mean I just wanna slap him for how he treats me.. I want whats best for my daughter and this isn't it..
Replies
I am so sorry hun. Do you have any family near by that could help? I can not believe he is being such a jerk.
I\'m so, so sorry. I went through something similar 13 years ago. Cheating husband and a bunch of lies. It took me a little while to wrap my head around the fact that my life, at that point, wasn\'t going to be what I had wanted nor planned it to be. We got married at 20, divorced at 26. When all my friends were \"starting\" their lives out of college, I was back at square one with nothing to show for it.
I had dropped out of college to move across the country to be with him and had no family around. But once I found out what was going on I wasn\'t about to stay with him nor in the same state with that guy. I sucked it up and asked my parents for help. My mom provided me with enough money to rent a uhaul and my dad offered his spare room till I was able \"to get on my feet\"
It\'s not easy to leave the person you\'ve known for so long. It\'s heartbreakingly awful to start over in life when your original plans don\'t work out. There will be days and weeks that you\'ll cry and mourn. But I PROMISE you - It gets better. Get yourself out of that situation, slowly start rebuilding your life. It\'s worth it, YOU are worth it. YOU deserve better!!
Thanks I\'m def gonna try but it\'s hard now to remove him from my life seeing as we have a 4 week old together
I\'m so sorry hun. The courts favor the mother\'s and are not going to let him just take her away from you without reason. Do have family you could stay with for a time while you get on your feet?
Maybe you should file for divorce first to get the ball rolling. Once the separation is legal, you should qualify for public assistance. That\'s what it\'s there for. For people going through really rough times. Plus once it\'s official he will have to pay you child support. Thinking of you. xo
Thanks ladies I\'m def looking into all my options
it\'s true that you\'ll never have him out of your life (assuming he isn\'t a dead beat dad once you do separate) but you can certainly be away from him. I can\'t imagine the pain you feel now....but what is important is creating a life you can be proud of for your daughter AND for you. YOUR happiness is so important, so that your daughter can be happy. be her amazing example (and I know it feels impossible)....there are resources for you. government assistance is nothing to be ashamed of (if you needed it) and asking for help from family members isn\'t either. It takes a village....reach out, and I bet people reach back. wish i could do more :-(
So sorry love. I can\'t imagine being in your shoes, but I think Ktk has good advice- file to get the ball rolling and get some assistance. Thinking of you hun.
through the divorce process you might even get spousal support since you\'ve been married so long and relied largely on his income. Many lawyers offer free first time consultations, and i recommend taking advantage of that and finding someone you\'re really comfortable with. I wouldn\'t recommend doing an army divorce without an attorney, you want to make sure you get all that you\'re entitled to.
I was going to suggest what ktk did. File first, once he is out and gone, apply for public assistance. In the meantime, any family and/or friends you could leave her with in the space between he leaves and you get assistance?
I\'m so sorry that you\'re going through this. Others have some really good suggestions and I agree with what someone else said that the courts absolutely favor the Mom. Thinking of you.
Like all the girls said I\'d look into your options for a divorce. I do hope you have family or friends you can live with that would make the transition easier. Good luck.
Im sorry this is happening but Im glad you know he\'s not worth trying to stay for, he has crossed far too many lines and you don\'t want your daughter to grow up thinking the way he treats you is normal. Show him no mercy, he has none for you!!! I wish we could all help you more, and I hope you have good friends and family around you to help you through this. I had to laugh at your Dr\'s comment though....very straight up of her!! Keep posting on here if it helps, we are all behind you xxx
Sorry that you are having to go through all this especially with all you have going on at home with a newborn! Most courts will favor the mother, especially since he tried to deny his paternity, I bet if that fact were made known to a judge it would definitely help your cause!
I wish I had more family and friends here but I don\'t and that is why I\'m so stressed.. I went to the docs to talk to her cuz I thought I might has postpartum but she looked at me and said no you don\'t have postpartum you are married to a jerk who stresses you out and plays with your emotions.. On a positive note the apts called me today and I think I got the 2 bedroom for Angelica and I.. also right after I got a phone call from my old daycare job asking me to come in for an interview on top of that they are going to discuss helping me with daycare for Angelica which will be amazing cuz I will be in the same building teaching so I can see her anytime I want and continue to breast feed her throughout the day.. please say tons of prayers