Rough day , rough night ...
I don't know why and don't care why but I just cannot "do" this grief anymore. I am tired of the nightmares and tired of the pain the longing for my only child and just don't understand why life had to kick me (all of us) in the teeth.
It is just wrong!
I miss you Ed! I love you! This is almost unbearable but bear it I must!
I love you forever and always, mom. xoxo
God, if you will please give me a sign or visit from Ed? Give me the strength to allow this pain to wash over me and become gentler again. Let tomorrow be better. In Jesus name, amen.
It is just wrong!
I miss you Ed! I love you! This is almost unbearable but bear it I must!
I love you forever and always, mom. xoxo
God, if you will please give me a sign or visit from Ed? Give me the strength to allow this pain to wash over me and become gentler again. Let tomorrow be better. In Jesus name, amen.
Replies
Everyone has already said what I would have said....this whole thing is just so wrong. I beg God every night that he send Michael to me in a dream. It never happens. It seems I can\'t even watch a movie without crying. Feelings are so intensified. Why do we all seem to revisit the pit?? I just don\'t understand, never will, but I pray you find a way out. Sending prayers for you. Ed, you are so loved and never forgotten!!!!
love filled hug, Roselle
I know that great, deep pain and it does come when it wills it. Hopefully it won\'t last too long. We go through these valleys together. Linda, holding you in a tight hug, love, Abby
Our grief sure can come up at any time and kick us square in the teeth! I have learned that there are peaks to balance out our valleys. I do hope and pray that soon you find the peace that can pass all understanding. Hugs, Belinda
Linda in my church today the topic was..... GRIEF! Oh great, I thought. But it was great. : ) Here\'s the best nugget I brought away: I heard today: \"GRIEF IS JUSTICE.\" It honors the reality of love and loss. If you weren\'t sad, it wasn\'t that good, and loss wouldn\'t be any big deal. The love was good, your Ed was a beloved and central part of your life, and the pain you feel is an expression of ongoing loss... it\'s absolutely right for us to feel that this loss is not right. Injust. Outrageous. Inhumane. All but unbearable. And it\'s exhausting to do justice work. GRIEF IS JUSTICE. We\'re not going to stop missing our children, are we. And we breathe, and grieve, and breathe, and live, and time goes by. And we grieve. Thank goodness for people who understand this.
Much love, Sarah
No part of any of this, for any of us, is right or OK and not one part of Ed not being on earth living his life makes any sense!!!!!
I\'m so sorry for the deep pain and longing and missing and aching for Ed you are feeling. It\'s all so hard to live with....
I hear you my friend....and I care.....
Big hugs and lots of love coming your way. I pray this intense feeling will ease soon...Lynn
This pain is part of life now. Unwelcome but always creeping back at us. I will put my virual arms around you and hold on as long as you need, to help get through this round with the grief monster.
HHHHUUUUGGGGGSSSS ~ Penny
Linda, my tears are flowing while reading your journal for I too have had a rough time lately. I don\'t know why it comes and goes like this. I do know that it is so unfair to loose a child and that we are left to bear this unthinkable pain. When those times happen to me, the crying is so hysterical that I feel like i\'m going to hyperventalate and I don\'t want to live. I know I have to live even though at those times I don\'t want to. We are all sharing this torment with you. I too am tired of all this pain and emotional roller coaster. The one thing that I am sure of is that our children would want us to go on. To be happy. Everyday is a stuggle and I know that the rest of my life will be a struggle. I live for Jackie and you must do the same. You must live for Ed. We will be with our precious children one day. Keep watching for that sign. It will come to you. I wasn\'t a believer in that until I saw Jackie for a split second. I thought I was going nuts. But I just keep thinking that I couldn\'t have imagined it. It was all so sureal. But I know it was her.. Something scared me and I turned because I thought someone was there. I was sitting at the kitchen table reading. I looked and there she was, just half a body and her head tilted to the side smiling at me. So beautiful. It was so faint. I started to yell for my sister, I was shaking and crying and I told her what happened. I can\'t get that moment out of my head so I do believe now. I could not have imagined that. So Ed will come to you. I didn\'t expect what happened. I pray that your prayers are answered. With much love and understanding, Gail.