Riding the roller coaster

Still riding the emotional rollercoaster of grief.  Yesterday was not a good day.  Sometimes I just wake up crying and can't stop.  I'm just going through the motions of living missing Gene every moment of every day.  I'm finding out just how much I depended on him.  So many things I can't do around the house by myself and I hate having to ask my son to help me out even though I know he doesn't mind.  The yard work itself is overwhelming but I can't see myself moving anytime in the near future.  I love where I live. 
I missed two days of work this pay period and now my check is going to be short by 13 hours and I've got bills to pay.  I just find it so hard to pull myself together some mornings and get into work.  My job is also still really boring and it leaves me too much time to think about my problems.  I'd rather be busy and have the time fly by than have to sit here trying to look busy.