relationship rambling
After a long night last night I am feeling super tired but I got to see my aunt Yeon today and my 2 half Korean cousins. Of course just like everyone she had to ask if I have a girlfriend but as usual I said no. It seems like it's unacceptable to be my age and not have a girlfriend. At least in my family. What's wrong with being single? I know that if I really wanted one I have a few girls that I know would go out with me but I'm just not that interested in them and when your not interested it becomes a one-sided relationship after a while.
On a similar note Rachel is engaged and while it isn't facebook official yet she seems excited. I doubt her parents would approve of the guy seeing as how his ambition is certainly lacking. I guess I am still a little hung up on her but she did hurt me pretty bad.
Hmm maybe I do need to find a girlfriend. No idea how a social recluse who self harms is going to find one though and people who are bipolar only have a 40% chance for a successful relationship now you gotta figure about half that for someone with BPD because of the even more frequent mood swings and stuff. Then factor in the self harm part of it which o image is about 5-10%... so lets see 40/2=20% then subtract 7.5% (average of 5 and 10) from that and we get 12.5%... 12.5% chance of having a successful relationship. So that's 1 in 8. 1 person out of every 8 I date has a chance of working out. Seems like good odds until you think that 1 in 7 males SH in the U.S. and I have never met another guy that SHs so ummm yeah. So without taking into account my appearance and my more subtle personality traits 7 out of 8 of my relationships will fail. Not quite sure how I feel about that. I have dated 6 people(only counting 2 weeks+) and some on multiple occasions so... fuck I dunno. I think I need some time to reflect on this.
On a similar note Rachel is engaged and while it isn't facebook official yet she seems excited. I doubt her parents would approve of the guy seeing as how his ambition is certainly lacking. I guess I am still a little hung up on her but she did hurt me pretty bad.
Hmm maybe I do need to find a girlfriend. No idea how a social recluse who self harms is going to find one though and people who are bipolar only have a 40% chance for a successful relationship now you gotta figure about half that for someone with BPD because of the even more frequent mood swings and stuff. Then factor in the self harm part of it which o image is about 5-10%... so lets see 40/2=20% then subtract 7.5% (average of 5 and 10) from that and we get 12.5%... 12.5% chance of having a successful relationship. So that's 1 in 8. 1 person out of every 8 I date has a chance of working out. Seems like good odds until you think that 1 in 7 males SH in the U.S. and I have never met another guy that SHs so ummm yeah. So without taking into account my appearance and my more subtle personality traits 7 out of 8 of my relationships will fail. Not quite sure how I feel about that. I have dated 6 people(only counting 2 weeks+) and some on multiple occasions so... fuck I dunno. I think I need some time to reflect on this.
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