Random Pt. 2

I feel like a schism has formed. She doesn't seem to need me anymore and is either pushing away or too busy. Shit happens and that's cool but I just feel disconnected from her. She doesn't text me unless I text her first. I feel like I am bothering her every time I text her like it's an inconvenience or something. What was I expecting? She is pushing me away like everyone does. But hey who could care about a razor junkie. I know this probably seems creepy and stuff but it's how I feel. She will probably get pissed when she reads this and think I hate her or that she is a burden or something. This is not true I love her and just want her to be happy. I just can't help these feelings. I have issues... more than most at least. I should have been committed a long time ago but my grandparents don't care(yes they know I cut and am suicidal). My mother is too busy trying to see her daughters again not that she ever really cared to begin with. So yeah I only have 10 days before none of this matters anymore. Our lawyer's secretary calls me Iron-sides because she thinks I am extremely stable and nothing seems to phase me and overall just a calm person. I laugh at her for it because she doesn't know me in the slightest... then again no one does. I let my calm logical side take control when necessary because my emotional side scares most people which is probably why as soon as people see my emotional side they run away. Can't think of a good way to end this so in the famous words of Edward R. Murrow "goodnight and good luck"