Push/Pull
My anxiety is off the roof! I have to get out of this house. I can't be here I feel like I will never be able to move forward and heal as long as I reside under the same roof as T. My night out last night was horrible! My text messages were going off like crazy! What do you care where I am and what I'm doing while you're out and about just do what you have to do! Sometimes I feel like I married a child. I'm in a nightmare, pure hell. I'm getting mixed signals. Pulling and pushing. I could be angry one minute then find myself missing and crying and yearning the next. I need to get the hell out of here. I'm looking into getting out of the country for a few days with some girlfriends. I'm all over the place with my thoughts and I'm dropping so much weight. I just want to go back to bed right now.
Replies
I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. I agree with you, you won't even being your healing process until you are not living together. I did it for two weeks and it was the most tragically, horrible thing I've had to work through. I don't doubt your emotions are all over the place. There is too much to process and I've been there. I started having some major anxiety issues. Your mental health should be critically important to you right now. I encourage you to get out of the country.
How long is this living situation going to continue? Is there anything at all you guys can work out? Can he leave and stay with friends/family? How about you? I know it is so hard to think about leaving your home. I wish I had left. I have family in the area and chose to stay and I would do it differently. It's too hard and honestly it doesn't need to be. I made it so much harder on myself because I loved him and wanted to cherish the last few weeks together and he was hurting and he needed me and I helped him! We had a mutual and loving breakup, but I helped him! It was too hard on me and I started having mini panic attacks.
Wishing you all the best. I am so sorry you are hurting so much. Once he goes it will get better, eventually. We all have a long road ahead. Come here often and check in and hopefully others going through something similar helps you feel less alone. Wish I could help! HUGS!
-TM
Thank you so much for that hug. ❤️