PTSD Letter of Revenge #1
This is a letter that I am "sending" (on DS only) to someone that contributed significantly to one of PTSDs. I am writing it to him, so all of the terms and situations are not fully explained. This is what I would have liked to have sent. I guess this is progress.
Admiral xxxxxxx-
I wanted to rebut the accusations you leveled at me and your decision. The accusations are ignorant of the circumstances and common practice. I was never trained to deal with husbanding agents. Your accusations malign my personal honor. You need to be aware of the exact circumstances of each accusation.
First are the hotel rooms. I only asked for a group discount from the hotel because I was making about forty room reservations at once. I only asked for a discount, not free rooms. After the rooms were reserved, I was out of that business. Suppose officers got free rooms from the contractor that is on them, not me. I do not think asking for a bulk discount is an ethical violation. I was ordered to do this, and this was common practice onboard the ship for me to help senior officers with their room reservations. If making these room reservations in Singapore was unethical, why not apply this ruling to all ports of call on this cruise and for all ships. This was common practice on ships. I am being singled out for something that all ships were doing. Why is it unethical for me, and all others go unpunished.
Second is the brunch in Singapore. I was ordered to attend this event. My boss went, his boss was there, and even his boss. Nearly all officers from the ship were there. I inquired about paying for the brunch but was told that it was taken care and there is no bill. I did not see the husbanding agent there, nor was there any hint of coercion or quid pro quo. It was a simple brunch. I get told where to be and go there. It was not until 13 years later did I find out that this brunch was paid for by the husbanding agent. If I knew that, I would have refused to attend or find a way to pay my fair share of the expense. This was an innocent mistake.
Lastly, I was gifted with a cheap bottle of wine. I accept it. There was no coercion to change bills for services; in fact, I was lowering the bills by over $200,000. I was taking $200,000 in cash from the hands of the husbanding agent when this gift of wine occurred. I had worked hard over the past ten days to set up this port visit and then to pull it off without a hitch. I was the go-to guy for four days for all ships for nearly anything to do with visiting Singapore. It was a cheap bottle of wine; it meant nothing and changed nothing in the billing. This also was an innocent mistake.
My career has been superlative. I have upheld my honor and the ethos of the Navy. I treated the husbanding agent harshly in nearly all encounters. It was openly hostile in Hong Kong, and the ship nearly left without paying its bills to the husbanding agent. I personally reduced his billing by ensuring that only CHT that was actually pumped was billed. I metered the freshwater purchased and again only paid for what was delivered. The bills that I certified were accurate, and there was no bribery or undelivered services paid for. Those bills were 100% accurate.
With your decision, you are ending my career. The Navy has probably paid over $500K in my training and education. The Navy paid for my undergraduate and graduate degrees. I hold professional licenses, have attended the War College, and several other advanced post-graduate certificates. Then there are the personal experiences of an officer with over 25 years of service. I have completed six combat deployments. I have put my life in jeopardy for the Navy on numerous occasions. You are ending the career of someone whom the Navy had invested a great deal for minor and petty infractions. Infractions that are common practice in the Navy and in business. Is this really in the best interest of the Navy? Is this the best use of the investment that the Navy made in me.
You are a fool for making this decision. You ignored the circumstances of the Singapore port visit. You have ignored common practice and you have singled me out for punishment. This decision throws away an excellent and dedicated officer. For what? I took nothing. I ensured the bills were accurate. I accepted no bribe and the husbanding agent was treated harshly, and all amounts were verified by log and meter. The Navy got exactly what it paid for. I personally discovered over billing and took action to correct the bill. This is an idiotic decision that ignores the facts and ignores the cost to myself and the Navy.
Replies
Thor, this is the first time I'm seeing all this.
Wow!
As a civilian worker, a retired military spouse, and a military brat, I've seen, heard, and been a part of a lot of events not of my choosing that affected my ability to be honorable.
I am glad you wrote it out, and I wish there was a way to make sure these people have "karma" return to them ten-fold the damage, devastation, and debacle their ignorant decisions create, not just for a single person, but for everyone surrounding them.
Here is a virtual retirement party for everyone on this post-Thank you, each of you, every single one of you, for a job well done, for a life of service protecting, serving, moving, changing, and being there 14/7/365 without pause, without hesitation, without judging, and for being honorable. If I could, I'd give each of you a standing ovation, a round of applause, a huge group hug, and the cheers of everyone who benefited from your military service.
My hope is that in healing, with all the books and people's suggestions, that you are able to find peace within and a moment to throw the worst possible tantrum to release all the hurt so it is gone.
My heart aches for the lack of justice served by this happening.
Please know you are valued, appreciated, and honorable to all of us!
Way to go Thor! Don't ever let any jackal come between you and the pride you should feel for your service. You should also feel proud of yourself for the strides you have taken and all the progress you have made. Keep striding!
Thinking of you again today, Thor.