Proud 2

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

Despite what I felt like, I ate full and healthy meals today, and I didn't binge or completely hate myself after! I also refrained from eating chocolate while nannying - I didn't eat a single unhealthy thing while nannying. That is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I haven't been able to do that in a while. I am proud of myself!

I ate all meals today except for dinner, but I had chocolate (okay, I admit I did have chocolate but it was at an event) and it made me full and I'm not forcing myself to eat anything else.

I'm wearing shorts for the first time in a while for pajamas (I don't like to wear shorts in public or at home. I don't want to see my stomach or legs.) and I'm having a difficult time not shaming myself.

The thoughts are creeping in. I've eaten full meals the last two days and I'm going to gain weight. I'm terrified of gaining weight. I don't want to be unlovable. These thoughts flood in.

"Just don't eat tomorrow and then you'll be fine. And then you'll have to do it the next day."

NO. It's never enough. God, please help me take control of my thoughts.

I am taking one day at a time. Today I am proud of myself. I'll let that be it. Now I will sleep to quiet my brain.